IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Governments should spend more money on improving public schools rather than funding universities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is considerable disagreement over whether
governments
Use synonyms
 should prioritize investment in public school or universities . I strongly agree that
governments
Use synonyms
 should allocate more funding to public school . The main reasons are as follows.
Governments
Use synonyms
 should invest more money in public
schools
Use synonyms
 so that students can receive better education. Many public
schools
Use synonyms
 have problems because they do not have enough funding.
For example
Linking Words
, their teaching equipment is old and cannot meet the needs of modern education.
In addition
Linking Words
, teachers in public
schools
Use synonyms
 are often paid low salaries and have few training opportunities.
This
Linking Words
 makes it hard to attract and keep good teachers. With more funding,
schools
Use synonyms
 can improve facilities, increase teachers’ pay, and provide better training, which will improve teaching quality. More investment in public
schools
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 help keep society stable. Many students come from low-income or working-class families. Some of them live in difficult family environments, which can affect their studies. If
schools
Use synonyms
 have more resources, they can offer a safer and better learning environment.
This
Linking Words
 can increase students’ interest in learning, reduce bad behavior, and improve their chances of going to university. Universities, especially famous ones, can get money from many sources,
such
Linking Words
 as alumni donations and companies. Public
schools
Use synonyms
 depend more on government funding.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
governments
Use synonyms
 should give priority to investing in public
schools
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I believe that
governments
Use synonyms
 should allocate more funds to public school.
This
Linking Words
 is beneficial because it allows more students get better education, keep society stable.,and allocate funds to where they are needed most.

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strength
Your view is clear and you give reasons.
structure
Make the intro shorter and show the main point in one line.
structure
Each paragraph should have one big idea with a short example.
grammar
Fix small grammar like 'more students get better education' to 'more students to get better education', and fix comma use.
content
Add more exact facts or numbers to back your points.
strength
Clear view and good reason.
structure
Order of ideas is clear.
structure
Use linking words well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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