Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

A lot of
kids
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today are spending too much
time
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using mobile phones, as technology is rising, and the internet can make our lives easier than before. In
this
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essay, I will tackle the positive and negative outcomes of
this
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.
Firstly
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,
children
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in
this
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generation are into gadgets, spending a lot of
time
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using
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. One factor of
this
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is that in all schools mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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are being
use
Replace the word
used
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.
Therefore
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, it can help the
kids
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contact their parents
while
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at school.
For instance
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, if there is an emergency that happens to them, they can easily contact their parents immediately.
Also
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, mobile phones
is
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are
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a huge help for learning something new, completing their assignments using the internet can be finished in no
time
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.
On the other hand
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, without
a
Correct article usage
the
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limitation and guidance of parents,
kids
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can use it for a lot of
time
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.
Additionally
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, they can encounter different
platform
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platforms
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where they can spend their
time
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, like playing video games and social media.
This
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is
therefore
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not a good impact for
children
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.
Thus
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, a result of less playing outdoors is a lack of skills for interacting with other
children
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.
Furthermore
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, they can be
influence
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influenced
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easily what
ever
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whatever
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that
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apply
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they can see online. Where
children
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believe that all they can see is the right thing to do. Mental health and peace are at risk, too.
To conclude
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, using smartphones without self-discipline is not good at all. Apparently, it has a bad effect on
kids
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; they will not be physically healthy, and it reduces the communication skills that
children
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should have at an early age.

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task response
State one clear view at the end and keep the main idea in each part.
task response
Give one or two easy examples to back up a point.
coherence
Make each part start with a short line about its main idea.
coherence
Use simple link words like also, but, however, for example to show how ideas go together.
structure
There is an intro and a conclusion that talk about the topic.
content
The essay shows both sides of the issue.
content
Some good ideas about phone use at school and at home.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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