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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The internet has changed the world and how people live. It has both positive and negatvie. Give the advantages and disadvantages of the internet.

The world today has changed, and that includes how
people
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 use the
internet
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. The
internet
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 changes
people
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's lives. The
internet
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 makes
people
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's lives easier.
This
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 essay will examine the
advantages
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 and
disadvantages
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 of the
Internet
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. There are many
advantages
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 of the
internet
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. First,the
internet
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 can give individuals information.
For example
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, if someone wants to do a presentation, the
internet
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 will help.
Also
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, sometimes if there is information
people
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 are not sure about, they search on the
internet
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.
Secondly
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, the
internet
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 helps
people
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 to communicate.
For instance
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, in the past, communication was so hard, but nowadays it is easy to communicate with
people
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.
Moreover
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, individuals can communicate by using WhatsApp. There are several
disadvantages
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 of the
internet
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.
First,
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the
internet
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 makes some
people
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 face bullying.
For example
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, if someone posts something on social media, sometimes haters will bully them.
Also
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, that will make
people
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 heartbroken.
Finally
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, the
internet
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 is negative because of hackers.
For
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instance
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instance,
show examples
 hackers can take
people
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's accounts on Instagram.
Therefore
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, they can steal money from the bank. There are many
advantages
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 and
disadvantages
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 of the
internet
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.
However
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, the
internet
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 has more
advantages
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 than
disadvantages
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, the
internet
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 can benefit individuals more than harm them.

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task response
For task response, add more clear ideas for each point and give a bit more detail to show full view.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, use more linking words and keep a steady flow between ideas.
grammar
Fix grammar and punctuation. Use spaces after periods, and start sentences with a capital letter.
structure
Good plan with clear intro and conclusion.
examples
Clear use of examples like WhatsApp and hackers.
lexical
Simple and direct language.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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