IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that only talented children can become successful musicians or athletes. However, others believe that children can be taught to succeed in music or sports. Discuss both views.

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Introduction
Many argued that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 most lucky
children
Use synonyms
 can become
famus
Correct your spelling
famous
 and productive
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
 musicians or
professtinal
Correct your spelling
professionals
 in
sports
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
DIifferent
Correct your spelling
different
 people believed
children
Use synonyms
 can be learned to be professional in
music
Use synonyms
 or
sports
Use synonyms
.
Recently
Punctuation problem
Recently,
show examples
 most
children
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 learned how to be
be
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
famos
Correct your spelling
famous
 in future,
whereas
Linking Words
 in the past
Use synonyms
children
Punctuation problem
, children
show examples
 required their
habbit
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habits
 from
thair
Use the right word
their
show examples
 family.
Body · 1
On the
hand
Correct word choice
other hand
show examples
,
children
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
newadays
Correct your spelling
nowadays
 try to learn and join
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
groubs
Correct your spelling
groups
 to help them in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 major.In
Use synonyms
music
Correct article usage
the music
show examples
major
Punctuation problem
major,
show examples
 most parents
tought thier
Correct your spelling
taught their
children
Use synonyms
 to choose
special
Correct article usage
a special
show examples
 type of
music
Use synonyms
 ,which is easier
Change preposition
for to
show examples
to
Correct word order
children to
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 learn
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and
excercise
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exercise
 on
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, romantic
music
Use synonyms
 and dramatic
music
Use synonyms
 touch
thier
Correct your spelling
their
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
,so
may it
Correct word order
it may
show examples
 help them to understand it and
invented
Wrong verb form
invent
show examples
 new
music
Use synonyms
 or songs.
In addition
Linking Words
 ,they should practice in
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 to
make
Verb problem
help
show examples
 them
developing
Wrong verb form
develop
show examples
 and take some
advices
Correct your spelling
advice
 from other learners.
Body · 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
persenteg
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percentage
 of
children
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are professional and can be
famos
Correct your spelling
famous
 in
sports
Use synonyms
 or
music
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
show examples
 some companies or organisations take them and afford to them all
facilites
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facilities
 and to make
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 generation of
sports
Use synonyms
 or
music
Use synonyms
.When they
grow-up
Use the right word
grow up
show examples
 may
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
have
great
Correct word choice
high
show examples
 income from the advertiser and donations . Because they are talented and
geneus
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genes
 from their family will get these features.
Conclusion
In
conclusin
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,recently most
children
Use synonyms
 are trying to
develping
Correct your spelling
develop
 and enhance their skills,
where as
Use the right word
whereas
show examples
 some
children
Use synonyms
 are professional and have experience from their family,so they are lucky and have more
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 than normal
children
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Plan before you write. Use four parts: intro, body with two ideas, and a conclusion.
content
Say one view clearly, then the other. Give a small example for each view.
language
Keep ideas simple and do not add too many new ideas in one sentence.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like 'first', 'also', 'but', 'so'.
language
Check spell and grammar. Use short easy sentences.
content
The essay tries to talk about both views.
content
It uses a topic about music and sport which can be easy to talk about.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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