IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Excessive use of private cars is considered the main reason for the traffic jam in many cities, which is why the use of public transportation is encouraged. In your opinion, what are the pros and cons of using public transport?

Increased
Correct article usage
An increased
show examples
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of private autos caused traffic congestion,
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is why
authorities
Correct article usage
the authorities
show examples
 of many cities try
convince
Verb problem
to convince
show examples
 inhabitants to
use
Use synonyms
 municipal
transport
Use synonyms
. I
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is a great idea because
one
Use synonyms
 bus can contain more
people
Use synonyms
 than
one
Use synonyms
 car. On
one
Use synonyms
 hand, if
people
Use synonyms
 start to
use
Use synonyms
 public
transport
Use synonyms
 more
frequently
Punctuation problem
frequently,
show examples
 it will make
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 relief for roads by decreasing car flow. Any type of public
transport
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as underground, bus or
tram
Punctuation problem
tram,
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more effective in comparison to
cars
Use synonyms
. You can move fifty
people
Use synonyms
 with fifty
cars
Use synonyms
 or with only
one
Use synonyms
 bus. And in
this
Linking Words
 relation trains are even better than buses, it capable
carry
Wrong verb form
of carrying
show examples
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 amount of passengers and don't
use
Use synonyms
 public
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
show examples
. If
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 can build a system that
appropriate
Replace the word
appropriately
show examples
Use synonyms
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
combination
Correct article usage
a combination
show examples
 of public trains and buses can fully solve
traffic
Correct article usage
the traffic
show examples
 jam problem.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it has
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 impact on
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 and can help to reduce
consequences
Correct article usage
the consequences
show examples
 of global warming. Most
cars
Use synonyms
runs
Correct subject-verb agreement
run
show examples
 with internal combustion engines
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
Use synonyms
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
produce huge
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
 of carbon dioxide
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
atmosphere
Correct article usage
the atmosphere
show examples
. And an encouragement to
use
Use synonyms
 public
transport
Use synonyms
 will decrease
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of total vehicles on
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
Punctuation problem
, what
show examples
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 leads to less quantity of CO2 in
atmosphere
Correct article usage
the atmosphere
show examples
.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 it will make the air
more healthy
Correct word choice
healthier
show examples
 and
clear
Replace the word
clearer
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will help to maintain
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 well-being. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, it is less convenient for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
.
Cars
Use synonyms
allows
Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
show examples
 you to go wherever you want and when you
want
Punctuation problem
want,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 public
transport
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 determined schedules and routes.
This
Linking Words
 fact can make commutes more time demanding and put
limitation
Correct article usage
a limitation
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's freedom.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 mass usage of public
transport
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
such
Linking Words
epidemic related
Use the right word
epidemic-related
show examples
 risk. In case if disease
will start
Wrong verb form
starts
show examples
widespreading
Correct your spelling
spreading
 among
people
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 in public
transport
Use synonyms
 are exposed more than
people
Use synonyms
 who drive
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 autos. In conclusion, public transportation should be encouraged by local authorities because the pros totally
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the cons.
Linking Words
This
Fix the agreement mistake
These
show examples
 incorporations will make park space less occupied
Punctuation problem
, cause
show examples
cause
Replace the word
causing
show examples
disappearance
Correct article usage
the disappearance
show examples
 of
intersections line
Fix the agreement mistake
intersection lines
show examples
 and
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 air quality.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Write a clear intro that says your view and what you will talk about.
coherence
Use one main idea in each paragraph and back it with a short example.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling. Fix errors like subject-verb mix and typos.
coherence
Add more linking words to show how ideas are connected, e.g., also, but, however.
task response
You state a view that public transport is a good plan.
coherence
You show both sides of the issue.
lexis
Some reasons are given, like fewer cars and less CO2.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: