IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that government should spend money on railways. Others believe that there should be more investments into new roads. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Society has been divided into two parts
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 the first group believes that policymakers should concentrate on developing railways,
while
Linking Words
 others, vice versa, opine that highway construction is more important.
While
Linking Words
 there are many supported arguments for both viewpoints that could be mentioned,
this
Linking Words
 essay concentrates on the discussion of two of them. On the one hand, the
railway
Use synonyms
, mostly more ecological and I am convinced it is vital for future generations.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, bridging distant living areas by roads has crucial economic importance.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the following paragraphs contain information and examples about the mentioned opinions.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, environmental and especially air pollution issues have become vital across the globe nowadays.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the development of the
railway
Use synonyms
 transportation organisation could be the solution, because the train engines commonly use electricity as an operating power
instead
Linking Words
 of fossil fuels.
Thus
Linking Words
, the environmental impact is almost absent, taking into account the amount of cargo volume and the number of passengers that could be transported by a developed
railway
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 compared with other options.
For instance
Linking Words
, extensive
railway
Use synonyms
 infrastructure in Japan
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 helped to reduce air pollution
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 40% in 20 years.
However
Linking Words
, refining the road infrastructure is crucial for the economy , especially in suburban and rural areas. Highways, bridging distant towns, suppliers and customers, factories and warehouses are vital like blood in a body. Concrete and asphalt pathways do not have as strict requirements as railways and can be constructed flexibly and rapidly.
Hence
Linking Words
, road has significant importance for transporting passengers and commodities when speed and variety of destinations are the key factors. Time is one of the most important things in the business environment and the economy;
thus
Linking Words
, delivery by vehicles through the developed highway
system
Use synonyms
 is the best time/cost option present day. In conclusion, railways have an advantage as a more eco-friendly transportation
system
Use synonyms
 compared with others and provide long-term benefits;
however
Linking Words
, I am convinced that the broad, well-maintained road
system
Use synonyms
 is as necessary for business and economy as oxygen.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

planning
Plan your essay first. State your view clearly in the intro and restate it in the conclusion. Then write two clear paragraphs for each side.
coherence
Use clear links between ideas. Use simple connectors like 'but', 'and', 'also', 'for example' to show how ideas go together.
grammar
Check grammar and word use. Fix mistakes such as 'roads' vs 'highways', subject-verb cases, and awkward phrases.
structure
The essay shows both sides and gives a view in the end.
content
An example is used to show how trains can cut pollution.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: