IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram illustrates main changes that have occurred at West Park Secondary School over a thirty-year period and its proposed development in 2010.

The maps provide
an
Correct article usage
apply
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information about the transformation of the West Park Secondary
School
Use synonyms
 after
a thirty-year
Use the right word
thirty years
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 of construction and its planned improvement in the next thirty years. In general, a major development is the enlargement of the main building and
introduction
Correct article usage
the introduction
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new
Change preposition
of new
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school
Use synonyms
 facilities,
while
Linking Words
 a few changes
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 proposed for its future layout. In 1950, there
are
Wrong verb form
was
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 only a
school
Use synonyms
 building located
to
Change preposition
on
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 the next main road and a playground below the main building. As of 1980, the main building was enlarged
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the left
direction
Check wording
apply
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,
hence
Linking Words
, the houses were completely demolished and converted to be a science block and a car park. The
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
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 field had
also
Linking Words
 been diminished to
established
Wrong verb form
establish
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 the new sports field. As of 2010, the
school
Use synonyms
 layout would be changed modestly. The car park would be increased in size
,
Punctuation problem
;
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therefore
Linking Words
, the sports area would be removed. A
new
Punctuation problem
new,
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 smaller sports arena
planned
Verb problem
is planned
show examples
 to be erected
to
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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next
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the playground, converting half of that area. Meanwhile, the
school
Use synonyms
 building and the science block stayed the same.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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