IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Extreme sports such as skydiving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

It is widely argued that
sports
Use synonyms
 like skydiving and skiing are very
dangerous
Punctuation problem
dangerous,
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 it should be banned, and
this
Linking Words
 essay
is
Verb problem
apply
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strongly
disagree
Correct subject-verb agreement
disagrees
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 with
this
Linking Words
 statement
,
Punctuation problem
.
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 In the
last
Linking Words
 decades
sports
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as skydiving and skiing became popular, Meanwhile many individuals enjoys it, One major problem is that, it is could be dangerous and harmful for the young generations,
For example
Linking Words
 it could cause problems
such
Linking Words
 as bones breaking or body hurt,From my presepctive i strongly disagree, allowing people to try
this
Linking Words
 kind of sport is giving them that opportunity to try something new and have the feeling that life deserves to live.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it should be continued over the following years.And try to create more secure systems
,
Punctuation problem
.
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For instance
Linking Words
, hanging a GPS device
in
Change preposition
on
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 the wrist to avoid getting lost after falling,
Or
Fix capitalization
or
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 creating an
air plane
Use the right word
aeroplane
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 dedicated only
for
Change preposition
to
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 these kinds of
sports
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
.
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Nevertheless
Linking Words
, Many governments banned these
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 without trying to find
another
Fix the agreement mistake
other
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 ways to
allows
Wrong verb form
allow
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 individuals to try an experiment and keep them safe.
Linking Words
to
Fix capitalization
To
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 conclude,I personally disagree with banning
sports
Use synonyms
i
Punctuation problem
. I
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 believe humans
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
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 to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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new experiences and skills
, i
Punctuation problem
. I
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 propose creating many ways to
protact
Correct your spelling
protect
 humans and
allows
Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
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 them to have the freedom in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.

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task
Begin with a short intro that states your view clearly and says what points you will discuss.
coherence
Make each paragraph have one main idea and add a simple link to the next part.
grammar
Use clear and easy grammar; fix run on sentences and keep verbs right.
content
Give specific examples and explain why they matter to your view.
structure
End with a short, strong conclusion restating your view.
position
You show a clear view against banning extreme sports.
content
You add ideas such as GPS help and a dedicated plane to show you think of safety.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • inherent risks
  • thrill and excitement
  • infringe upon
  • individual freedom
  • limit people's choices
  • proper training
  • regulation
  • equipment
  • take necessary precautions
  • tourism industry
  • economic growth
  • raise awareness
  • responsible participation
  • improved physical fitness
  • mental strength
  • personal growth
What to do next:
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