IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. Write a letter to the club secretary. In your letter • state what type of membership you have and how you have paid for this • give details of how you have benefited from the club • explain why you want to leave Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to cancel my membership at your club as I am relocating to my hometown permanently. I had enrolled for a platinum membership
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 gives
an
Correct article usage
apply
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exclusive access to
swimming
Correct article usage
the swimming
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 pool. I have been a member of your club
from
Change preposition
for
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Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 three years and paying for it
by
Change preposition
with
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 a Mastercard ending with 08761 on
biweekly
Correct article usage
a biweekly
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 basis.
However
Linking Words
, the
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 has helped me to attain my desirable fitness targets during my transformation journey, as there
are
Verb problem
is are
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 specialised team for every individual to instruct, to design a diet plan and workouts
accordingly
Linking Words
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
that
Punctuation problem
that,
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 they accept
feedbacks
Fix the agreement mistake
feedback
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 with professionalism and enthusiasm. It would be very challenging for me to find a similar
well equipped
Use the right word
well-equipped
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 club like yours.
However
Linking Words
, I need to shift to my hometown because I need to take care of my parents. They are not keeping well, so they can not manage on their own. I would be highly grateful
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 if you
revert
Verb problem
could revert
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 with an acknowledgement mail
addressing
Verb problem
stating
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 that my membership
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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 successfully terminated. Yours sincerely, Neeraj Dahiya

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grammar
Grammar and word choice need work. For example, say 'for the last three years' not 'from last three years' and 'biweekly basis' should be 'on a biweekly basis'.
structure
Use shorter lines and keep one idea per sentence. This helps the reader see the point clearly.
coherence
Link ideas with simple connect words and avoid long sentences. 'and', 'also', 'but' are fine.
style
Be clear about what you want from the club and keep a formal tone in all parts.
content
Check payment detail wording to be precise, e.g., 'Mastercard ending in 08761'.
content
Clear aim to end the membership.
tone
Polite tone with 'Dear' and closing.
content
Key facts such as membership type and payment method are given.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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