The bar chart below shows the expenditure of two countries in consumer goods in 2010.

The column chart illustrates the

spendings

Fix the agreement mistake

spending

show examples

of two nations on retail products in 2010.

Overall

Linking Words

, in both countries, the consumption of cars was the highest out of all the other contents.

In contrast

Linking Words

, in

France

Use synonyms

, the lowest expenditure was

cameras

Change preposition

on cameras

show examples

;

however

Linking Words

, in the

Use synonyms

, the portion that had the lowest value was perfume. The purchase of electronic devices was fairly

the highest

Correct word choice

high

show examples

in both countries. The car consumption in the

Use synonyms

surpasses

Use synonyms

France’s

Fix the agreement mistake

that of France

show examples

, which was 400,000, by 50,000.

Moreover

Linking Words

, in cameras, the computer purchase in

France

Use synonyms

was approximately 370,000

ranging

Punctuation problem

, ranging

show examples

almost

Change preposition

show examples

the same level as the

Use synonyms

, which is 350,000.

However

Linking Words

, the disbursement in

France

Use synonyms

was low compared to the

dissipation

Check wording

disbursement

show examples

in the

Use synonyms

. Daily essentials

such

Linking Words

as perfumes and books are demonstrated in the chart. In

France

Use synonyms

, the purchase of books was 300,000, which was lower than the expenditure

Change preposition

show examples

books in

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

the UK

show examples

, which was over 400,000.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, on average, both countries' perfume consumption was relatively negligible.

anarotgonjargal0624

Mar 6, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words france, uk with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

159 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

expenditure
consumer goods
bar chart
comparison
categories
data points
economic status
consumer behavior
illustrate
implications
patterns
trends
notable differences
summary
reflect
insights

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people say it is more important to plant trees in the open spaces in towns and cities than to build more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a view that the relative importance of planting trees in open spaces, such as cities or towns is better than building more accommodations for residents. While the construction of buildings has many positive effects, I believe that the growth of the number of trees can just only lead to the reduction of air pollution,but also provide the necessary equipment which is made from them.
7.5
band
You recently purchased an item from a local store, but you are not satisfies with your purchase. Write a letter to the manager of the store. In your letter •Describe the item you bought and why you need it •explain why you are not happy with it •say what you would like the manager to do Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing this letter to express my dissatisfaction with a recent purchase of Air Conditioner from your store.
7
band
Too much attention is given to headline-grabbing disasters like earthquakes and floods. Government should concentrate their resources on educating people about the risk they face nearer to home, which can cost far more lives.
Governments are too sensitive to attention-grabbing tragedies like earthquakes and floods, while some opponents believe that they are not important in comparison with obstacles around our neighbourhoods. Actually, they do not know those disasters cause mass killings.
6
band
Some people believe that allowing childern to make their own choices on everyday matters (Such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuls who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for childern to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is thought by a selection of individuals that letting the younger generation decides what they want on everyday matters leading to allowing them to think about themselves, resulting in an isolated society. However, others believe that we should just let them make decisions that are critical for their lives only. In this essay, both viewpoints will be outlined in the following paragraphs before reaching my conclusion which is I agree with the latter notion.
7.5
band
Access to clean water is a basic human right. Therefore every home should have a water supply that is provided free of charge. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It cannot be denied that everyone has a basic right to access clean water on a daily basis. In this context, many emphasise the importance of providing a water supply for every household at no cost. I completely agree with this view, as water is crucial to human survival.

The bar chart below shows the expenditure of two countries in consumer goods in 2010.

Some people say it is more important to plant trees in the open spaces in towns and cities than to build more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Too much attention is given to headline-grabbing disasters like earthquakes and floods. Government should concentrate their resources on educating people about the risk they face nearer to home, which can cost far more lives.

Access to clean water is a basic human right. Therefore every home should have a water supply that is provided free of charge. To what extent do you agree or disagree?