Some people think that success is the best measure for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What’s your opinion?

In our current society
many
Punctuation problem
, many
show examples
of us reason that
success
Use synonyms
directly
co-relates
Use the right word
correlates
show examples
to the
intelligence
Use synonyms
of an individual.
This
Linking Words
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, however
show examples
however
Punctuation problem
however,
show examples
does not apply to every situation as I shall illustrate
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
essay. First and foremost,
success
Use synonyms
is determined not only by
intelligence
Use synonyms
but
also
Linking Words
the
Change preposition
by the
show examples
environment and circumstances
Change preposition
in that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
one may find themselves
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
a student may underperform in their final examinations not because of low
intelligence
Use synonyms
but
due to
Linking Words
absentism from school
as a result
Linking Words
of poverty in the household.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
an employee could be struggling to keep up at work because they lost a close relative
even
Punctuation problem
, even
show examples
despite having qualified for the job. The list could go on and on as to how family, individual and
also
Linking Words
geographical aspects could influence
success
Use synonyms
. Society should learn not to measure
success
Use synonyms
with
intelligence
Use synonyms
but
instead
Linking Words
put more emphasis
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
understanding an individual as a whole. It is important for one to put into consideration the other side of the story because intelligent people are
also
Linking Words
human
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
intelligence
Use synonyms
alone cannot determine the
success
Use synonyms
of an individual. In conclusion,
intelligence
Use synonyms
is just one part
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
situations and external factors heavily influence the
success
Use synonyms
of a person. It would be unfair to reason that
intelligence
Use synonyms
is the ultimate measure of
success
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

improvement
Add more solid reasons and examples to back your view that success alone does not measure intelligence.
improvement
Link ideas with better transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
error correction
Check grammar and word use; e.g., replace 'co-relates' with 'correlates'.
improvement
Make the introduction state your view clearly at the start.
improvement
Conclude by restating your view and giving one main reason.
strength
Clear view that success is not the only measure of intelligence.
strength
Good overall structure with intro, body, and conclusion.
strength
Examples connect to the point and show context.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • success
  • intelligence
  • measure
  • achievements
  • accomplishments
  • academic degrees
  • creativity
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving
  • critical thinking
  • cultural perspectives
  • adaptability
  • community contributions
  • limitations
  • socio-economic status
  • opportunities
  • multi-faceted
  • assessed
  • lenses
What to do next:
Look at other essays: