IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that the best way to relax is by resting or sleeping. Others say that doing exercise or playing sports is a better way to relax. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

How to relax
isna
Verb problem
is not
show examples
controversial
Correct article usage
a controversial
show examples
 subject in widely aspects.
For instance
Linking Words
, some people tend to rest or sleep
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 if they have a hard job with heavy workloads,
Linking Words
While
Fix capitalization
while
show examples
 others tend to exercise or
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 some physical
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 to feel relaxed and fully
powerd
Correct your spelling
powered
.
Vast
Correct article usage
A vast
show examples
 amount of perspectives related to
this
Linking Words
 topic, which I will
be examined
Wrong verb form
examine
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 essay. On the one hand, relaxation by going to sleep or taking an efficient period to turn off your body and your brain after a heavy workload is a deserved thing.
In other words
Linking Words
, as a human you need to rest your body to maintain a good physical and mental
quility
Correct your spelling
health
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people have thoughts of exercise as a golden secret for good health and productivity, as they
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 their comfort when they
are going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 to
gym
Correct article usage
the gym
show examples
 or
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 some activities. For
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
show examples
, hiking, cardio, and running. In my opinion, we need both of them, but
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
reasonable
Correct article usage
a reasonable
show examples
 level of both. Taking too much
sleeping
Check wording
sleep
show examples
 or resting during the day
having
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 a bad impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health
Linking Words
although
Punctuation problem
, although
show examples
 it is required, which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 the person more lazy with low power to do other important
staff
Check wording
tasks
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 doing some exertional workout has
also
Linking Words
 been a bad idea
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 undeniable worse effects. To recapitulate, there
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
needs to be a balance between taking rest and
workout
Use the right word
working out
show examples
, which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 the body get the most benefits from both.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the person can do
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 work with motivation and efficacy.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Make your intro clear: state the topic and your view in one short sentence.
cohesion
Keep one main idea per paragraph and use simple linking words to show how ideas fit together.
grammar
Fix grammar and spellings: such as 'powerd', 'quility', 'staff'. Use correct verb forms.
content
Give clear examples for both sides to show you can discuss ideas fully.
structure
End with a short conclusion that restates your view.
content
The essay tries to discuss both views and includes your own opinion.
content
The topic is present and there is some attempt to argue both sides.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: