IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Students having part-time jobs write advantage and disadvantage essay

In recent years, part-
time
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work
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 has become increasingly common among
students
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 in many countries. Many
students
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 choose to
work
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while
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 studying in order to earn money and gain practical experience.
However
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, combining
work
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 and education can affect
students
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 in different ways.
Therefore
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,
this
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 essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of
students
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 having part-
time
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 jobs. One major advantage of part-
time
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 jobs is that
students
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 can gain financial independence and useful
work
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 experience.
For example
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, a student who works in a restaurant or a shop can earn money to pay for books or daily expenses.
Although
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 working
while
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 studying can sometimes be tiring, it may help
students
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 develop important skills
such
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 as communication and
time
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 management. In my opinion,
students
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 can benefit greatly from part-
time
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work
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 if they organise their
time
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 effectively.
On the other hand
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, having a part-
time
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 job may negatively affect
students
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’ academic performance.
For instance
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, some
students
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 may feel exhausted after working long hours and may not have enough
time
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 to study or complete assignments. Even though earning money is useful, education should always be the main priority. Personally, I believe that
students
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 might face academic difficulties if they
work
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 too many hours during their studies. In conclusion, part-
time
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 jobs offer several advantages for
students
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,
such
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 as financial support and valuable
work
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 experience.
However
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, they may
also
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 create pressure and reduce the
time
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 available for studying. If
students
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 manage their
time
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 carefully, they can enjoy the benefits of part-
time
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work
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 without negatively affecting their education.

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task response
Make your view clear at the end of the essay. State your main point in a short last sentence.
coherence
Link ideas more with small words like 'first', 'next', 'also' to keep the flow smooth.
structure
Each paragraph should have one main idea. Start with a topic sentence and end with a note for the idea.
examples
Give more exact examples, like how many hours a student works and how this affects study time.
conclusion
Try to end with a strong, simple conclusion that repeats the main idea.
lexical
Use simple words but vary some words to avoid repeats and to show range.
structure
Clear outline with introduction, body and conclusion.
content
Balanced view that shows both sides of the issue.
examples
Use of example to show points.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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