IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this element?

In modern society, the government must decide how to allocate their financial
reasources
Correct your spelling
resources
 effectively.
While
Linking Words
 some people believe that allocating more
funds
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 building new
railways
Use synonyms
insteade
Correct your spelling
instead
 of
roads
Use synonyms
, others argue that building new
roads
Use synonyms
 is equally important for society. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because building new
roads
Use synonyms
 is essential for drivers and employees, but building new
railways
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
 a significant role in development. On one hand, building new
railways
Use synonyms
 may help with delivering valuable and useful
reasources
Correct your spelling
resources
 much quicker.
For instance
Linking Words
, trains may deliver valuable
reasources
Correct your spelling
resources
such
Linking Words
 as coal, sulfur, iron and copper much quicker than expected with more funding allocated to
railways
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, allocating more
funds
Use synonyms
 to
roads
Use synonyms
 may help the government slightly
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 not effective enough as
railways
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
funds
Use synonyms
 that are allocated to
roads
Use synonyms
 may help reduce traffic congestion
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
emloyees
Correct your spelling
employees
 may travel to their workplace much more quickly than expected,
althogh
Correct your spelling
although
 these are only minor issues.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 allocating
funds
Use synonyms
 to
roads
Use synonyms
 is helpful and useful, spending more money on
railways
Use synonyms
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better solution for
this
Linking Words
 statement to develop society
quicker
Replace the word
quickly
show examples
 than anticipated.

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task response
Be clear about your view. If you partly agree, say how much you agree and why. Then give 2 main reasons with simple examples.
coherence
Link ideas well. Use simple words to connect phrases. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence and finish with a short conclusion.
structure
Uses 'On one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show balance
content
Gives an example about goods moved by rail
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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