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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work a company. Why might be this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

In recent years, people have found new ways to earn money. 
This
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 manner made employers think about the chances of being self-employed. Rather than working under someone else, in
this
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essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 we will discuss the disadvantages of it.  The new generation come up with a lot of skills to the businesses and office work, every time they come up with new discover they bring a larger benefit out of it, All that happening under social media and self phones, which makes a lot of random people who's intersted on the same build to observe and continue the self employer advices from where the
last
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 person ended, a chain of creativity that seems hard to get rid of. 
Furthermore
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, it's not only about choosing your own path on your own way, but it
also
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 brings a part of responsibilities and taking risks all the way,
for instance
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, any failure that happened before
while
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 you were working at someone else's company, the whole team will take the blame, and it would be easier to clean up the mess. Unlike the circumstances of facing the wrongs that you made, being self-employed does not always bring a solid foundation
,
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;
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 it comes with experience and a well-built team. 
To sum up
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, there are a lot of benefits and drawbacks, which mostly depend on the hard work and brave strategy that comes from the person in charge, and the approach they can handle through tough choices.

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organization
Make a clear plan: say why people work for themselves, then add the bad parts.
grammar
Use short sentences. Avoid long, hard lines.
task response
Stick to the task. Talk more about the bad sides only and give clear ideas.
coherence
Use simple links to show how ideas go on, like but, also, and, then.
content
The essay tries to talk about both sides of the topic.
structure
There are some attempts to give examples.
coherence
Some linking words are used.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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