IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that it is beneficial to play sport in a team rather than playing an individual team. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent years, people have started to argue whether it is more successful to start your own sports
carer
Use the right word
career
show examples
 individually or to join others
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 who share the same goals and form a team
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 In
this
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 essay, we will discuss both perspectives. To start with, the most common opinion was that people defended the idea of team matches.
Thus
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, it brings hard challenges for side players, and for the supporters who claim to be on each side of the club players. Each player has their own fans, and that brings a crowded crowd into the match, and that brings good excitement vibes for the community to come watch the match. 
On the other hand
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, it is a rare event to watch a player succeed in a very short time alone.
Furthermore
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, when a solo player succeeds in his own way, alone, without being committed to other players.
As a result
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, he can take  credit for winning without anyone's help, and can show the public how strong he is, and shine in his
on
Use the right word
own
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 way. 
To sum up
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, I would say in my opinion, there is a time difference between winning alone
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and being with a group that can help each other grow
,
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;
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 it's not only a problem of time, but
also
Linking Words
 a waste of energy
while
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 you have the chance to save it

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content
Explain both views with more detail and give a clear opinion at the end.
grammar
Use simple and short sentences. Check grammar and fix run-on lines.
coherence
Use smooth links to show ideas connect, like 'also', 'but', 'for example'.
structure
Keep to one main point per paragraph and end with a clear conclusion.
examples
Give real examples or facts to show why team play or solo play can help.
strength
The essay shows a clear goal and a view on the topic.
strength
There is an attempt to use linking words such as 'On the other hand'.
strength
The writer states an opinion in the end.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • collaboration
  • teamwork
  • self-discipline
  • personal accountability
  • self-reliance
  • confidence
  • social connections
  • sense of belonging
  • community
  • mental health
  • flexibility
  • personalized approach
  • mentorship
  • performance
  • competition
What to do next:
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