IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think women should be given equal chances to work and excel in their careers. Others believe that a woman's role should be limited to taking care of the house and children. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Include specific details and examples to support your choice

In modern society, there is an ongoing debate about the role of
women
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.
While
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 some people believe that
women
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 should have the same
opportunities
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 as men to pursue careers and succeed professionally, others argue that their primary responsibility should be limited to managing the household and raising
children
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. In my opinion,
women
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 should be given equal
opportunities
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 to work,
although
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 the final decision should depend on their personal preferences and family circumstances. On the one hand, allowing
women
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 to work provides numerous benefits for both families and society. One of the most significant advantages is the improvement in the financial stability of a household. When both partners contribute to the family income, they can enjoy a higher standard of living and better
opportunities
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 for their
children
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,
such
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 as quality education and healthcare.
Moreover
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, employment allows
women
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 to build their own identity and independence.
Instead
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 of being recognised only through their family roles, they can develop professional skills, gain confidence, and earn respect within society.
On the other hand
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, some people believe that
women
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 should focus on taking care of the home and raising
children
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. They argue that mothers often play a crucial role in a child’s early development.
Children
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 may benefit from the constant guidance, emotional support, and attention that a parent at home can provide.
Furthermore
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, if both parents are extremely busy with their careers, they might not be able to spend sufficient time with their
children
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, which could weaken family relationships. In conclusion,
although
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women
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 play an important role in raising
children
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 and maintaining the household, they should not be restricted to these responsibilities alone.
Women
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 should have equal
opportunities
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 to pursue careers, and ultimately, the choice of whether to work or stay at home should depend entirely on their personal decision and circumstances.

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structure
Have a clear line from start to end. Start with your view, then give two ideas with proof.
cohesion
Link ideas with easy words; use for example, first, also, but, then to show flow.
examples
Give more real life examples to back up your points.
grammar
Check grammar and use short, simple sentences to avoid errors.
lexical
Use simple words; avoid long and hard words that are not needed.
strength
Clear stance and answer to the prompt.
structure
Well structured with a pro and con view.
cohesion
Good use of linking words.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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