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Writing Samples
Band 7

the graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who went to the UK for different purpose between 1989 and 2009

The line chart provides information about the number of foreign attenders who moved to Great Britain for diverse goals over a 20-year period from 1989 to 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that all spheres illustrated an upward trend. Another striking feature is that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 visits to friends or relatives increased until 2004. Looking at the details, as regards business and holiday, they revealed a fluctuation during
of
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apply
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the period in question.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, in 1989 holiday had around six
million
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 guests and witnessed
considerable
Correct article usage
a considerable
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 rise to almost ten
million
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 in 1999, but after that it
cameback
Correct your spelling
came back
 to
initial
Correct article usage
the initial
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 figure in 2004. By the way, it demonstrated improvement to the mark nearly nine
million
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 in 2009. Regarding business, it had almost six
million
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, but declined steadily to four
million
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 in 1993. After that, it went up to eight
million
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 in 2007, but experienced a reduction to one
million
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.
By contrast
Linking Words
, when it comes to visits to friends or relatives, it went in the opposite direction. At the beginning, it made up approximately 4
million
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, but it witnessed a substantial rise to seven
million
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 in 2004.
However
Linking Words
, visits to friends or relatives decreased and in 2009 accounted for six
million
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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