IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that individuals can do little to improve the environment and that only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a rising argument between
people
Use synonyms
 who think that the main responsible ones for protecting the
environment
Use synonyms
 are governments and authorities of big companies,
while
Linking Words
 others claim that individual contribution
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 saving our
nature
Use synonyms
 is important. Since increased
environmentally
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 awareness and
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 lifestyle
individuals
Check wording
apply
show examples
can
create
Wrong verb form
be created
show examples
, I strongly believe
for
Correct word choice
that for
show examples
 all
people
Use synonyms
 living on earth, taking part in actions towards sustainable development is essential.
Although
Linking Words
 one action can not make
any
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 big difference, daily lifestyle choices that
people
Use synonyms
 make affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
environment
Use synonyms
. Small decisions like reducing plastic use and using public transport or bicycles
instead
Linking Words
 of
private
Correct article usage
a private
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 car for small trips could help with decreasing
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 percentage of air pollution, if they are done consistently. Which means, individuals make decisions every day that impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nature
Use synonyms
. Another example is that saving water in our daily use can make a big contribution
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 preventing future possible water scarcity problems.
Thus
Linking Words
, even these rituals may seem small, yet they add up over time and show significant results in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 long run. Another point is that individuals can raise awareness among communities and encourage others to take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
. The ones who want to influence the
environment
Use synonyms
 positively can spread ideas by social speeches with creating various "Go Green" projects
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
educate
Wrong verb form
educating
show examples
 friends and children about approaches to protect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 with
wide
Correct article usage
a wide
show examples
auditory
Check wording
audience
show examples
 on social media can influence to preserve our surroundings in a certain way.
For example
Linking Words
,
recommendation
Replace the word
recommending
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
any healthy product
instead
Linking Words
 of using the harmful option for
nature
Use synonyms
 can possibly prevent potential issues that our atmosphere may face. In conclusion, despite the roles of governments and large factories in
protection
Correct article usage
the protection
show examples
 of
nature
Use synonyms
are
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 very
big
Correct word choice
significant
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, it is unimaginable to prevent potential dangers to the
environment
Use synonyms
 without individual contribution. In my opinion, actions that
people
Use synonyms
do
Verb problem
take
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a daily basis and the influence
people
Use synonyms
 could have on each other play a key role in living a sustainable lifestyle.

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task response
Make your main view more clear in the first paragraph. Say directly that you disagree with the idea that only governments and big companies can help.
task response
Answer all parts of the question in a more direct way. You talk well about people, but say less about the role of governments and large companies.
task response
Use more clear examples. Your ideas are good, but some examples are general and need more detail.
coherence cohesion
Put some sentences in a more natural order. A few ideas are hard to follow because the wording is not clear.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Some links are good, but some sentences do not connect smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Make each body paragraph start with one clear main idea, then explain it, then give one example.
task response
You clearly give your opinion and keep it through the essay.
task response
You cover two main ways individuals can help the environment.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Most paragraphs stay on one main topic.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • carbon footprint
  • renewable energy
  • conservation
  • corporate social responsibility
  • policy implementation
  • grassroots movement
  • environmental advocacy
  • legislation
  • systemic change
  • collective impact
  • green initiatives
  • pollution control
  • biodiversity
  • global warming
What to do next:
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