IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on the question. These days, in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problems be solved?

In
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 days and age, our AI technology is very developed, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 various AI
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
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 appear in today's community like
Chatgpt
Use the right word
ChatGPT
show examples
, Poe,
deepeek
Fix capitalization
Deepeek
show examples
, etc. Some
creaters
Correct your spelling
creators
 who
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
create the Ai, they think that AI can replace
differnet
Correct your spelling
different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of work in the future
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as
cleaner
Replace the word
cleaners
show examples
,
Use synonyms
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 or
chef
Fix the agreement mistake
chefs
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,
Punctuation problem
;
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 these are
replaced
Verb problem
being replaced
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 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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AI.
that
Correct word choice
apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
makes
Verb problem
has led
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 many
teachers
Use synonyms
developed
Verb problem
to develop
show examples
 other
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of jobs. So it decreases many people
want
Correct pronoun usage
who want
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 to become
teachers
Use synonyms
longings
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
if
Fix capitalization
If
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 we want to solve
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 think
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 should promote some protection or
impluements
Correct your spelling
implementations
 to protect
teeachers
Correct your spelling
teachers
.
For example
Linking Words
, to spread information like " evidence their
school
Use synonyms
 will not use the AI to replace
tecaher
Correct your spelling
teachers
". To
decrease
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
teachers
techears
Check wording
techears'
show examples
 negative emotions and
increase
Use synonyms
 belonging
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 becoming
techears
Correct your spelling
teachers
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the workload of secondary schools'
techear
Correct your spelling
teacher
is very
higher
Replace the word
high
show examples
 and pressure. Nowadays, many secondary
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 want to
decrease
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the coast
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coast
Use the right word
cost
show examples
 of employment that they just employee
little
Correct word choice
fewer
show examples
Use synonyms
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
, to
decrease
Use synonyms
 cost, which make secondary
Use synonyms
school's
Check wording
school 's'
show examples
techear is
Verb problem
salaries
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 not
balance
Replace the word
balanced
show examples
 between
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
 and workload, so that it
also
Linking Words
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
number
Correct article usage
the number
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 of
Use synonyms
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
. If we want to reduce these
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 think the
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
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 of different countries need to check the
school
Use synonyms
 arrangement in employment every month,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to
represent
Verb problem
ensure
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 protection and
Use synonyms
teacher's
Check wording
teachers'
show examples
 well-being.
Hence
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, it
does
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not only
Use synonyms
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
 a negative atmosphere in
community
Correct article usage
the community
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, but it
also
Linking Words
Use synonyms
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
teacher
Use synonyms
 rates, who want to become
Use synonyms
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
. The third reason is
Use synonyms
students
Correct word choice
that students
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 hard to regulate
because
Correct pronoun usage
themselves because
show examples
 today's
students
Use synonyms
 don't want to attend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
class, especially the secondary
school
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 they will sleep or play
Change preposition
on the
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the
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
 the lesson
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
techear
Correct your spelling
Teachers
 don't know how to regulate
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
,
due to
Linking Words
lots
Check wording
the fact
show examples
of
Change preposition
that
show examples
Use synonyms
Correct word choice
many teacher
show examples
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 don't have
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
show examples
 type of experience.
Besides
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, some
teacher
Use synonyms
 gains negative mental
emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
show examples
beacsue
Correct your spelling
because
Use synonyms
students'
Change preposition
of students'
show examples
 bad
movement
Check wording
behaviour
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 Hong Kong, there was one
student
Use synonyms
fought
Correct pronoun usage
who fought
show examples
 the
teacher
Use synonyms
 because of
Correct article usage
a disatisifying
show examples
disatisifying
Correct your spelling
dissatisfying
teacher
Use synonyms
, that ot makes the
teacher
Use synonyms
 injure and gain PTSD
due to
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 behaviours. If we want to solve
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
, the principal can set the
implemetns
Correct your spelling
implementations
 to regulate the
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 or
increase
Use synonyms
student
Use synonyms
 and
parents
Fix the agreement mistake
parent
show examples
 connections.
Whn
Correct your spelling
When
teachers
Use synonyms
 encounter any
problem
Use synonyms
 because of the
student
Use synonyms
,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they can find their
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
in
Change preposition
for
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 the first time, to limit
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the student
show examples
student
Check wording
student's
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 bad behaviour and can
effective
Replace the word
effectively
show examples
to regulated
Verb problem
regulate
show examples
Use synonyms
students
Correct article usage
the students
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
, it can
decrease
Use synonyms
unfavourable
Correct article usage
an unfavourable
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 atmosphere in the
school
Use synonyms
, but it
also
Linking Words
protect
Correct subject-verb agreement
protects
show examples
Use synonyms
Check wording
teacher'
show examples
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 health and safety. To be honest, if we want to
increase
Use synonyms
 the rates of
Use synonyms
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 think
Use synonyms
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 and government should pay more attention
on
Change preposition
to
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this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
, trying to release
Use synonyms
teacher
Check wording
information on
show examples
 what problems they will encounter and build up more well-being
implements
Replace the word
implementations
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
teachers
Use synonyms
, to attract more talent to become
Use synonyms
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
. It
not only can
Correct word order
cannot only
show examples
 promote a favourable atmosphere in
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
 or different
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
, but
also
Linking Words
increase
Use synonyms
 talents' appearance.

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task response
Answer both parts more clearly: give clear reasons and clear fixes for each reason.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea at the start of each body paragraph, then explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like First, Second, Also, Because, So, and In conclusion.
task response
Give one clear example that directly fits the point, and explain how it supports your idea.
task response
Avoid ideas that do not fully match the question, and stay focused on why people do not want to be teachers.
task response
You answered both the reasons and the solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear paragraphs and a conclusion.
task response
You tried to use examples to support your ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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