IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign company. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

Few masses opine that masses are learning a foreign
Use synonyms
language
Punctuation problem
language,
show examples
 whether they wanna
travel
Use synonyms
 or they are looking
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
job in
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 companies.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, others believe
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 they are not learning a different
language
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 just because of
this
Linking Words
 reason.
This
Linking Words
 helps them in other nations if they
travel
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they can know something about
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 culture.
However
Linking Words
, they may learn
languages
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 to run their own business with distinct nations. On the one side, if individuals know
kind of
Replace the word
a certain
show examples
Use synonyms
Fix the agreement mistake
language
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languages
Punctuation problem
languages,
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 they can explore. To justify it more, if they
travel
Use synonyms
 in
different
Correct article usage
a different
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 country with the help of
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
Use synonyms
language
Punctuation problem
language,
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 they can read the signs
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can find the right path. Even, they not only get the chance to learn about
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 culture but
also
Linking Words
 regarding
there
Use the right word
their
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 history, heritage.
For example
Linking Words
, in
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Kingdom, if people
travel
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there and they know
English
Punctuation problem
English,
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 they can learn
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many things about there like
there
Use the right word
the
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 Victoria and Leicester city
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 famous for
there
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their
show examples
 history.
In other words
Linking Words
, some of them learn English, Spanish for any other reason
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 to grow in their life. To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
more, if they know different
languages
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 they can run they can run their own business
while
Linking Words
 sitting in their home countries by connecting with
well known
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well-known
show examples
 companies.
Thus
Linking Words
, they can make their future bright
they
Punctuation problem
; they
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 can get name and fame in
this
Linking Words
 way.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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, people prefer to work from
because
Check wording
home because
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 they know
kind of
Correct word choice
various
show examples
languages
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 and they do not have any kind of
language
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barrier
Punctuation problem
barrier,
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 it's breaks
Linking Words
due
Change preposition
down due
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 to learning different
languages
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. In conclusion,
Linking Words
Although
Fix capitalization
although
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 people learn
languages
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 to
travel
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 from one country to another country yet, they can learn different
languages
Use synonyms
 to break the
language
Use synonyms
 barrier.

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task response
Answer both views more clearly. Say why some people learn a language for travel or work, and why others learn it for many other reasons.
task response
Give your own opinion in a clear way. Put it in the introduction and conclusion, and keep it the same through the essay.
task response
Use more clear main ideas in each body paragraph. One paragraph should focus on one view only.
task response
Add better examples. Your examples should be real and easy to understand, and they should directly support your point.
coherence cohesion
Make your ideas easier to follow. Some sentences are hard to understand because the order of ideas is not clear.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words in a better way. Words like 'on the one side', 'however', and 'for example' should connect ideas more naturally.
coherence cohesion
Check repetition. Some lines say the same thing again, like 'they can run they can run'. Remove repeated words.
coherence cohesion
Make each paragraph have one topic sentence, then explain it, then give one example.
task response
You answered the topic and talked about both sides of the question.
coherence cohesion
You wrote an introduction and a conclusion, which is good for essay form.
task response
You tried to use examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has clear paragraph breaks, so the reader can see the main parts.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foreign language
  • travel abroad
  • foreign company
  • practical reason
  • clear purpose
  • job chance
  • career growth
  • communicate well
  • ask for help
  • read signs
  • daily life
  • international business
  • work meeting
  • write emails
  • serve customers
  • understand culture
  • make friends
  • enjoy films and songs
  • read books
  • online classes
  • global world
  • open mind
  • improve memory
  • build confidence
  • personal growth
  • social connection
  • useful skill
  • not the only reason
  • in my opinion
  • I believe that
What to do next:
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