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Band 5

The bar chart shows the number of three types of visitors to a museum between 1997 and 2012.

The bar chart shows the
number
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 of three types of
visitors
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 to a museum between 1997 and 2012. These groups are adult
visitors
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,
visitors
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 under the age of 15, and people who came to special exhibitions.
Overall
Linking Words
, adults were the largest group of
visitors
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in
Change preposition
apply
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every year. The
number
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 of adult
visitors
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 generally increased over time,
while
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 the
number
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 of
visitors
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 under 15 decreased.
In contrast
Linking Words
, visits to special exhibitions slowly grew.In 1997, about 300,100 adults visited the museum.
This
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number
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 stayed almost the same in 2002, at around 302,200, but
then
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 increased significantly to 400,500 in 2007. By 2012, the figure
slightly
Verb problem
had slightly
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fell
Wrong verb form
fallen
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 to 380,000,
although
Linking Words
 it was still higher than in the earlier years. The
number
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 of
visitors
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 under 15 showed the opposite trend. It started at 120,000 in 1997 and dropped to 110,000 in 2002. The
number
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 continued to fall to 87,000 in 2007 and reached 82,300 in 2012. Meanwhile, visits to special exhibitions increased gradually during the period. The
number
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 rose from 28,000 in 1997 to 29,200 in 2002,
then
Linking Words
 to 37,700 in 2007 and
finally
Linking Words
 to 42,000 in 2012.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, visitors with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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