IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays people eat more fast food than in the past. This has led to many health problems. Why do people eat more fast food? What can be done to solve this problem?

Due to
Linking Words
 fast pased life style
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 in big cities
usualy dont
Correct your spelling
usually don't
 have
time
Use synonyms
 for
food
Use synonyms
 preparation
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 they take their meals in fast
food
Use synonyms
restaraunt
Correct your spelling
restaurants
.
This
Linking Words
 fact have direct
asociation
Correct your spelling
association
 with the rise in obesity,heart diceases and mental problems.
Firstly
Linking Words
,the life
rythm
Correct your spelling
rhythm
 has dramaticaly changes even in
compresion
Correct your spelling
comparison
 with life 20 years ago.Modern people who live in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
megacities are always in a hurry.Work duties,relationship and personal growth have a huge influence on daily
schendule
Correct your spelling
schedule
.In order to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 all their commitments persons are usually
sacrafice with
Wrong verb form
sacrificing
show examples
 both their physical and mental well-being.The two biggest factors that affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
physical health are
nutriton
Correct your spelling
nutrition
 and
sleap
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sleep
.There is no
time
Use synonyms
 left for choosing products in supermarkets and cooking at home.It is much more
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 and
what
Punctuation problem
, what
show examples
 is more important
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, time
show examples
time efficient
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time-efficient
to buy
proccesed
Correct your spelling
processed
 and
ultra-proccesed
Correct your spelling
ultra-processed
food
Use synonyms
 or grab a
mealt
Correct your spelling
meal
 at
nearest
Correct article usage
the nearest
show examples
 fast-
food
Use synonyms
restaraunt
Correct your spelling
restaurant
.Despite saving
time
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 two options have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
very
harmfull consequenses
Correct your spelling
harmful consequences
.
Such
Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
 has an imbalanced nutritional
components
Fix the agreement mistake
composition
show examples
 and usually lacks protein and contains exces of carbohydrated and fats.In combination with a sedentary
lifestyle
Add a comma
lifestyle,
show examples
 it create perfect base for overweightness and disruptions in
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the cardiovascular system. To
adress
Correct your spelling
address
this
Linking Words
 problem authoritis have to restore
work-life
Correct article usage
the work-life
show examples
 balance of
citezens
Correct your spelling
citizens
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,put
more
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
stricter limitations on the duration of
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
 day in order to prevent constant overworking and create more free
time
Use synonyms
 for daily chores and personal activities.
Secondly
Linking Words
, they should create a reliable public
trasportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 system to reduce the
timepeople
Correct your spelling
time people
 spend in traffic jams or
while
Linking Words
 commuting.
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
nutrient-dense
Correct article usage
a nutrient-dense
show examples
 diet and regular physical activity should be promoted among humans. In
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,nowadays people
basicaly
Correct your spelling
basically
 do not have
enoygh
Correct your spelling
enough
time
Use synonyms
 to cook
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 they
replayce
Correct your spelling
replace
 home-cooked meals with fast and cheap
food
Use synonyms
.To solve
this
Linking Words
problem
Punctuation problem
problem,
show examples
 a government has to implement laws that
restict
Correct your spelling
restrict
 working hours and encourage a helthy being.

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task response
Answer both questions more fully. You explain why people eat fast food, but the solutions part is a bit short.
task response
Add one or two clear examples to make your ideas stronger and easier to trust.
task response
Some ideas are good, but a few are too general. Explain how each solution will help in real life.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Use shorter sentences sometimes. A few long sentences are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words are used, but some are not fully correct. Keep them simple: first, also, because, so, finally.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph focus on one main idea only. This will make your writing clearer.
task response
You answer both parts of the question, so the reader can follow your main purpose.
task response
Your main idea is clear: busy city life leads people to choose fast food.
task response
You give some real causes and solutions, such as long work hours and travel time.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has 3 clear parts: introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Words like firstly, secondly, and in conclusion help guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas connect in a logical order.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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