IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays people eat more fast food than in the past. This has led to many health problems. Why do people eat more fast food? What can be done to solve this problem?

Due to
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 the fast-paced lifestyle,
people
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 in big cities usually do not have
time
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 to prepare
food
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, so they eat their meals in fast-
food
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 restaurants.
This
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 fact has a direct association with the rise in obesity, heart disease, and mental health problems.
Firstly
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, the rhythm of life has changed dramatically even in comparison with life 20 years ago. Modern
people
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 who live in megacities are always in a hurry. Work duties, relationships, and personal growth have a huge influence on their daily schedules. In order to
fulfill
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fulfil
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 all their commitments,
people
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 usually sacrifice both their physical and mental well-being. The two biggest factors that affect physical health are nutrition and sleep. There is no
time
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 left for choosing products in supermarkets and cooking at home. It is much more convenient and, more importantly,
time
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-efficient to buy processed and ultra-processed
food
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 or grab a meal at the nearest fast-
food
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 restaurant. Despite saving
time
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, these two options have very harmful consequences.
Such
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food
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 has an imbalanced nutritional composition, usually lacks protein, and contains an excess of carbohydrates and fats. In combination with a sedentary lifestyle,
this
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 creates a perfect basis for being overweight and for disruptions in the cardiovascular system. To address
this
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 problem, authorities have to restore the work-life balance of citizens.
Firstly
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, they should put stricter limitations on the duration of the working day in order to prevent constant overworking and create more free
time
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 for daily chores and personal activities.
Secondly
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, they should create a reliable public transportation system to reduce the
time
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people
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 spend in traffic jams or
while
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 commuting.
Furthermore
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, a nutrient-dense diet and regular physical activity should be promoted and encouraged among the population. In conclusion, nowadays
people
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 basically do not have enough
time
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 to cook, so they replace home-cooked meals with quick and cheap fast
food
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. To solve
this
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 problem, the government has to implement laws that restrict working hours and promote a healthy lifestyle.

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task response
Add one more clear cause of why people eat fast food, not only lack of time.
task response
Give one real and clear example to support your ideas, such as office workers or students.
task response
Explain more clearly how fast food leads to mental health problems, because this point is not fully developed.
coherence and cohesion
Make your second half easier to follow by splitting long ideas into shorter parts.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Some are good, but too many long sentences make the flow less smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use one paragraph for causes and one paragraph for solutions with a more even balance.
task response
You answer both parts of the question: why people eat fast food and what can be done.
task response
Your main ideas are clear and mostly well explained.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, body, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Ideas move in a logical order from problem to solution.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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