IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that subjects such as art, music, drama and creative writing have a bright future. Therefore, schools should spend more time teaching these subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Many people believe that
subjects
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 like art,
music
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, drama, and creative writing will become more important in the
future
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.
Therefore
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, they argue that
schools
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 should devote more time to teaching these creative
subjects
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. I strongly agree with
this
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 statement because creative
education
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 develops important life skills and helps
students
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 succeed in modern society.
Firstly
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, creative
subjects
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 encourage imagination and critical thinking. In today’s world, employers are not only looking for academic knowledge but
also
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 for people who can think creatively and solve problems in new ways.
Subjects
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such
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 as drama and creative writing help
students
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 express their ideas confidently and improve their communication skills.
Similarly
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, art and
music
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 develop innovation and emotional understanding, which are essential in many careers.
Secondly
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, creative activities can improve
students
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’ mental health and personal development. Academic
subjects
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 like mathematics and science are important, but too much pressure in these areas may cause stress. Creative
subjects
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 provide
students
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 with opportunities to relax, express emotions, and discover their talents.
For example
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,
students
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 who participate in
music
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 or painting often feel more motivated and confident in school life.
Moreover
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, creative industries are growing rapidly around the world. Careers in film, design, advertising, gaming, and entertainment require artistic and creative abilities. If
schools
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 spend more time teaching these
subjects
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,
students
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 will be better prepared for
future
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 job opportunities. Ignoring creative
education
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 may limit
students
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’ potential in these expanding fields.
However
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, some people argue that
schools
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 should focus mainly on science and technology because these
subjects
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 are more practical.
Although
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 these
subjects
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 are essential, creative
education
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 should not be neglected. A balanced
education
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 system that includes both academic and creative
subjects
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 is the best way to prepare
students
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 for the
future
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. In conclusion, I strongly agree that
schools
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 should spend more time teaching art,
music
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, drama, and creative writing. These
subjects
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 not only improve creativity and emotional well-being but
also
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 prepare
students
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 for
future
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 careers and personal success.

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task response
For task response, add one more real or clear example to make your ideas stronger.
task response
For task response, you can explain the other side a little more before you disagree with it.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your ideas are clear, but you can use a few more linking words between some sentences.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, make one body paragraph a little more developed with one extra support point.
task response
For task response, you answer the question clearly and your opinion is strong from start to end.
task response
For task response, your main ideas are relevant and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the essay has a clear intro, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph has one main idea and this helps the flow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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