IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel aborad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, domestic
tourism
Use synonyms
 has become increasingly popular. Some
people
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 believe that in the
future
Punctuation problem
future,
show examples
 more individuals will prefer to spend their holidays within their own
country
Use synonyms
 rather than travelling abroad. I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 view because
although
Linking Words
 local
travel
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 is becoming more attractive, international
tourism
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 will still remain popular. One reason why domestic holidays may become more common is the increasing cost of international
travel
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. Air tickets, accommodation, and
travel
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 insurance can be expensive, especially for families. Travelling within one's own
country
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 is usually more affordable and convenient because it eliminates the need for visas, long flights, and complex
travel
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 arrangements.
As a result
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, many
people
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 may prefer to explore local destinations that are easier to access. Another factor encouraging domestic
tourism
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 is the growing promotion of local attractions by governments and
tourism
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 companies. Many countries are investing heavily in developing national parks, cultural heritage sites, and entertainment facilities to attract residents.
For example
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, improved transportation infrastructure and modern tourist facilities make it easier for citizens to discover beautiful places within their own
country
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 that they may not have previously considered visiting.
However
Linking Words
, travelling abroad will continue to appeal to many
people
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. International
travel
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 allows individuals to experience different cultures, cuisines, and lifestyles that cannot be found in their home
country
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. For many travellers, visiting foreign destinations provides a sense of adventure and personal growth.
Furthermore
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,
globalization
Change the spelling
globalisation
show examples
 and cheaper international flights in some regions have made overseas
travel
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 more accessible than ever before. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 domestic
tourism
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 is likely to become more popular
due to
Linking Words
 convenience and lower costs, international
travel
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 will still remain attractive because
people
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 naturally desire new cultural experiences.
Therefore
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,
while
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 more
people
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 may choose holidays in their own
country
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, travelling abroad will continue to be an important part of
tourism
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.

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task response
For task response, your answer is clear and you give your opinion from the start. To get a higher score, you can add one more strong example to make your ideas more exact.
task response
For task response, your main points are good, but the example about local travel is a bit general. Try to use one real or more clear example.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow because each paragraph has one main idea. To improve, you can make the link between the third and fourth paragraph a little smoother.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you use linking words well, such as 'however' and 'as a result'. For a higher score, do not use too many similar linkers in the same way.
task response
Task response is strong because you answer all parts of the question and keep your opinion clear.
task response
Task response is good because your ideas are relevant and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion are strong because the essay has a clear opening, body, and ending.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion are good because your paragraphs are well ordered and easy to read.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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