Some people think that the best way to learn about business is to study a course at college or university. Others believe that there are other better ways to learn about business. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In contemporary society, there has been an ongoing debate about whether
business
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is beneficial or harmful.
While
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some individuals believe that
college
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or
university
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offer as a course belong to
business
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for learning, others argue that there are numerous platforms
are
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apply
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available for
business
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study. I
firlmy
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firmly
believe that
university
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or
college
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plays a crucial
role
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in shaping the
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students
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students'
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academics
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,
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such
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as they offer
the
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apply
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traditional
classes
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with experienced teachers and
they
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apply
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allow
to improve the
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students to improve their
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students
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skills and
communication
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. which provides
the
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apply
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several benefits for
students
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and
socity
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society
. The primary factor why I support
this
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view is that
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university
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a university
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or
college
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offers the traditional classroom atmosphere with experienced teachers, who always try to resolve the
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student
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students'
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doubts related to the
bussiness
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business
subject.
This
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is because
business
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classes
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takes
Correct subject-verb agreement
take
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practical exposure which helps
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student
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students
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to develop critical thinking related to profits and
loss
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losses
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.
For instance
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, traditional
classes
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allows
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allow
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students
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present
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to present
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presentation
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a presentation
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and attend some exhibitions, which
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
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an integral
role
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in
student
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profession.
As a result
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, these
classes
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and atmosphere boost
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student confident
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students' confidence
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and provide
ability
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the ability
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to handle
the
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apply
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difficult problems. Another crucial reason for choosing
this
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view is that
,
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apply
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college
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or
university
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improves the
communication
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and skills in the
students
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which
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, which
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is really important in
business
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. In today's era, people handle the bussiness across the
global
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globe
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where
communication
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plays a significant
role
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to export
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in exporting
show examples
and import the material and
handle the
Wrong verb form
handling
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meetings with
the
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apply
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clients.
For example
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,
Delhivery
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the Delhivery
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company
spread
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has spread
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their
business
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globalised
Replace the word
globally
and
owner
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the owner
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always
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is always
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facing the challenge in explaining
the
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apply
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things.
However
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, he handles everything very easily with their skills and
communication
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merely
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;
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he always
expalin
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explains
about
college
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exposure.
As a result
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,
students
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always
do
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have
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debates
between them
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among themselves
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
college
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with really
boost
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boosts
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their knowledge and
overcome
Verb problem
helps them overcome
show examples
the
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their
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fear. To sum
off
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up
show examples
,
university
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or
college
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plays a vital
role
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in
student
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communication
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and knowledge.
Although
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despite
Correct word choice
apply
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it is not time consuming
but
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but,
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it is beneficial to take
the
Correct article usage
a
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degree from the
college
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.

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task response
Answer both views clearly. Now you mainly support college study, but you do not explain well why other ways can be better.
task response
Give your opinion in a direct way and keep it the same in all parts of the essay.
task response
Use clearer main ideas in each body paragraph. Start with one main point, then explain it, then give one simple example.
task response
Your examples are not fully clear or specific. Use easy and real examples that directly support your point.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with intro, body, and end, but some parts are hard to follow because ideas are not linked well.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words correctly, like first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one main idea. Some sentences now go off the main point.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. Put ideas in a smooth line: point, reason, example, result.
task response
You gave a clear opinion for one side of the debate.
coherence and cohesion
You included an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used paragraphs to separate main ideas.
task response
You tried to add examples to support your ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
Look at other essays: