Some people believe that universities students should specialise in a particular subject while others believe that they should study a range of subjects. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

In the modernised era, many educational institutes promote a wide range of
subjects
for learners to opt for. Some people suggest that
university
students
should focus on a
core
field,
whereas
others think that they could study various
subjects
in their school lives.
However
, my point of view tends to gain a variety of knowledge for preparing
further
work.
This
essay will expound on both sides and my position. On the
one
hand,
one
of the vast majority of focusing a major
core
can be specified qualifications. If adolescents or younger adults pick up
one
core
such
as education, when they can manage more easily, they succeed in a
core
field.
In addition
, they are getting expertise quickly.
For instance
, in my city, a large number of college
students
apply to educational
core
owing to the contribution of teaching different aged-group children or youngsters. Even though they study
one
core
, they
also
head up quickly and choose compulsory and optional parts for their training.
Consequently
, those
students
can be qualified when they fulfil the
university
's
core
requirements
instead
of opting for different
subjects
.
On the other hand
, studying various
subjects
prepares as well for
further
pursuing careers. If juveniles can learn a range of
subjects
at
university
including language, Maths and a major, it will benefit them to develop their global viewpoints and consolidation.
Therefore
,
this
is more likely to match different job vacancies for learners preparing well in society.
For
this
reason, learning a variety of
subjects
would like to be effective in finding a job in the future rather than a
core
field. In conclusion, based on the statements above, I stand for
university
students
should study a wide range of
subjects
including compulsory and optional parts for well preparing to workplace and to increase their competition in society.
Submitted by jimmy.wong.wp on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic that is developed logically. The essay sometimes strays from the main points.
coherence cohesion
Use linking devices appropriately to connect ideas and paragraphs, but avoid overuse which might obscure meaning or make the structure seem mechanical.
task achievement
Provide clear examples to support your points. Your essay would benefit from including more specific and relevant examples to strengthen the arguments.
task achievement
Make sure that your position is clear throughout the essay, particularly in the conclusion where your opinion should be prominently stated.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task sufficiently. While the essay attempts to discuss both views and includes an opinion, it could more fully explore the implications and consequences of each view.
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