IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the ad vanatges of owning a smartphone putweigh the disadvantages

Advancements in technology have various impacts on our lives
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 communication is no exception. In
contemprary eptoch
Correct your spelling
contemporary society
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals have
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 cell
phones
Use synonyms
and
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, and
show examples
 the benefits of
this
Linking Words
 advancement outweigh the drawbacks.
This
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 essay will discuss the
prons
Correct your spelling
pros
 in subsequent paragraphs. To commence with, it has
ehance
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enhanced
 the connectivity around the world. To expound, cell
phones
Use synonyms
 have many
applications
Use synonyms
such
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 as
Whatsapp
Fix capitalization
WhatsApp
show examples
, Facebook, X and Zoom,
these
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 are highly used to talk to
people
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 over the seas.
Furthermore
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, smartphones have the feautures in built
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such
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in, such
show examples
 as emails, which are used for business purposes
communications
Correct word choice
and communications
show examples
 to distant places.
For example
Linking Words
, these days
people
Use synonyms
 can talk to their loved ones living far
on
Rephrase
away on
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 video call from anywhere in the world.
Although
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,
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apply
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people
Use synonyms
 can connect to
people
Use synonyms
 from different places without actually knowing them, which can result in
fradulent
Correct your spelling
fraudulent
 activities and scams. The above reason vividly justifies
,
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apply
show examples
 how
this
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 technology helps
people
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 to stay connected from
distant
Replace the word
a distance
. To
solidfy
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solidify
 my
arugment
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argument
,
phones
Use synonyms
 are very convenient. To expand,
lastest
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latest
phones
Use synonyms
 have different features
such
Linking Words
 as bank
applications
Use synonyms
, health record
applications
Use synonyms
 and online food order
applications
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 can easily
use
Use synonyms
 these
applications
Use synonyms
 to do their tasks from home
wothout
Correct your spelling
without
 actually going
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there in person. It takes
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 minutes to do your task over the phone
instead
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waiting
Change preposition
of waiting
show examples
 in long
ques
Correct your spelling
queues
.
For instance
Linking Words
, if someone wants to get
bank
Correct article usage
a bank
show examples
 statement for any purpose,
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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 not have to go bank, they can easily
use
Use synonyms
 online
bankings
Check wording
banking
show examples
 and download it.
However
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, it is not
eveyones
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everyone's
 comfort zone to
use
Use synonyms
 online application
for
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example
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example,
show examples
 elders still
likes
Correct subject-verb agreement
like
show examples
 to
use
Use synonyms
 traditional ways of doing things and hesitate to try new things. The above
arugement
Correct your spelling
argument
 clearly showed
,
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apply
show examples
 how
this
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adavancement
Correct your spelling
advancement
 makes how lives easy.
To conclude
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, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 have
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 cells. These
phones
Use synonyms
 outweigh the
prons
Correct your spelling
pros
 over cons.
This
Linking Words
advacement
Correct your spelling
advancement
 helps
people
Use synonyms
 to connect to each other for formal and informal purposes
living
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, living
show examples
 distant.
Moreover
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,
this
Linking Words
 technology makes our lives easy and simple.

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task response
Make your main answer more clear in the first part. Say in a direct way that the good points are more than the bad points.
task response
Add one more clear bad point and explain why it is less important than the good points.
task response
Your examples are good, but some need more detail to fully support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear 4-part shape, which is good. Keep this plan.
coherence cohesion
Some linking words are not used in a natural way. Use simple links like first, also, for example, however, and in conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are too long and hard to follow. Break them into shorter sentences.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main idea and all sentences support it.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion that smartphones have more good points than bad points.
task response
You use relevant examples like video calls, bank apps, and food apps.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Each body paragraph has a main topic: communication and convenience.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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