IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. What do you think are the problems and how governments can tackle these problems?

One of the most pressing concerns that attracts
attentions
Check wording
attention
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 from various parts of the world is
facing an
Verb problem
the
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 increase in the number of humans living in capital cities.
This
Linking Words
tend
Use the right word
trend
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 has caused many issues
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as crowded public transport . Governments should tackle these problems by improving
the
Correct article usage
apply
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transportation in the most busy places in the country. First and foremost, the main threat caused by people moving to big cities is trafic jam.
As a result
Linking Words
 of that , people spend long hours on the road , feel
stress
Replace the word
stressed,
 and lose time for work and family.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 could increase the
amount
Check wording
number
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 of accidents
Linking Words
due to that
Correct word choice
because
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 workers are not
reaching
Verb problem
arriving
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 on time to
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 work. A prime example of
this
Linking Words
 is Cairo
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 has been suffreing of congested public transport in the
last
Linking Words
 10 years
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 during morning and afternoon hours. One of the most viable solutions is that authorities should improve public transport by adding more buses , trains and safe bike lanes for bikers. They could
also
Linking Words
 work on building new housing areas with parks,schools and
clincs
Correct your spelling
clinics
 as it would gradually reduce pressure on crowded districts. We can take the
egyptian
Fix capitalization
Egyptian
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 government as an example for
this
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 it built a modern way of transportation
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is
monorail
Correct article usage
a monorail
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the innovation of the New Administrative Capital city
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will decrease the pressure on Cairo. To recapitulate, it is evident that the growing population in urban areas is causing traffic congestion
in
Change preposition
on
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 most of the streets.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is necessary that governments tackle
this
Linking Words
dillema
Correct your spelling
dilemma
 by innovating
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new transportation methods for residents.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You talk well about traffic, but add one more clear problem of city growth, like high house cost, noise, or air pollution.
task response
Explain your ideas a bit more. Say how each problem hurts daily life, and how each government action can help in a real way.
task response
Your examples are good, but check if they fully match your main point. Try to link each example to the problem and the solution more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this shape, but make each paragraph focus on one main idea only.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words like first, in addition, as a result, and therefore are good, but some sentences still feel hard to follow because of grammar mistakes.
coherence and cohesion
Make your topic sentence very clear at the start of each body paragraph. Then support it with one or two clear details or one example.
task response
You answer the question and give both problems and solutions.
task response
You use a real example about Cairo and the new capital, and this helps your ideas feel more real.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas follow a clear order, so the reader can understand your main message.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overpopulation
  • urban area
  • housing pressure
  • high rent
  • house prices
  • traffic jam
  • crowded transport
  • public services
  • poor living conditions
  • air pollution
  • noise pollution
  • waste management
  • affordable housing
  • city planning
  • basic services
  • public transport
  • quality of life
  • growing population
  • move to smaller towns
  • create jobs
What to do next:
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