Some people say that students who achieve the highest scores in their exams should be rewarded. Others say that those who show progress should be rewarded instead. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It has been seen that rewarding fosters motivation in school-going children. Yet it is not clear that

this

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approach will give more benefits to those who are already academic scorers or to those who work hard and show improvement. I believe that it will be more suited to people who start making progress on a daily basis as

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would develop the greed in them to progress even more . Those who argue to reward the toppers have a point.

Firstly

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, honouring the top rankers is a must as the level of effort they make in order to achieve

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good scores is a notch level. To give an example, scoring the first position in class requires a lot of persistence and determination towards studies and in order to do so, they have to skip their favourite television series and sometimes sports. Recognising them with a sum of money as a prize would make them proud and could feel that hard work pays off.

Although

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intelligent people get some advantages from remuneration, it clearly benefits the people who show daily effort towards the goal. Studying regularly for class tests not only fosters one to develop daily habits to study but

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helps them to improve the final exams and when we start rewarding little accomplishments, they remain motivated and even work harder for more.

For example

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, in India, many school practices recognise the pupils who improved their scores on daily tests.

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strategy works very well and exacerbates the students' greed for

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gifts and in turn, helps the schoolers to become the best version of themselves.

To conclude

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, rewarding is a powerful tool to motivate both the toppers and students who show effort. I believe

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strategy would be more suited to those who tend to become better daily.

sanakalsi3736Fri Aug 16 2024

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specific examples

You should provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments, especially when discussing the benefits of rewarding students who show progress. Mentioning a specific study or program can add credibility to your points.

clarity

Ensure that your sentences are well-structured and clear. Sometimes, complex sentences can become difficult to follow. For example, the sentence explaining the benefits for top rankers can be broken down for better clarity.

transitions and flow

Some sections can be improved by smoothing the transitions. Words like 'However,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In addition' can help the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.

balanced discussion

You have provided a balanced discussion on both perspectives of rewarding students who achieve high scores and those who show progress. This demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

introduction conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion are well-formulated, clearly stating your opinion and summarizing your key points effectively.

supportive examples

You have used relevant and specific examples, particularly noting practices in Indian schools, which helps to illustrate your points. This adds credibility to your essay.

7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
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Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
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Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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Some people say that students who achieve the highest scores in their exams should be rewarded. Others say that those who show progress should be rewarded instead. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Others say that it has a positive impact. Discuss both views.

Many countries offer a free health care system to their citizens rather than relying on private health care. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having a free system, and give your opinion.

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain answer.