IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many people believe that governments should spend more money on public transportation rather than building new roads.

The government should care about the financial situation of
his
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 country, but at the same time it must
care
Correct word order
also care
show examples
also
Linking Words
 about the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 and control pollution.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore,
 increasing the expenditure on public
trasportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 can decrease air pollution, because if public trasports
work
Punctuation problem
work,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 would use
them
Fix the agreement mistake
it
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of taking the
car
Use synonyms
. Cars generate a lot of CO2 emissions, and
this
Linking Words
 is one of the main reason of air pollution. A good transportation system would
also
Linking Words
 help
people
Use synonyms
 in
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 economic way, because only individuals
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 need a
car
Use synonyms
 would buy it. Owning a
car
Use synonyms
 is really expensive
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 have a lot of taxes to pay on it,
the
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 have to pay a
mecanich
Correct your spelling
mechanic
 if something doesn't work in the
car
Use synonyms
, they have to pay insurance
etc
Punctuation problem
, etc
show examples
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 if the government spends more money on
roads
Use synonyms
,
for example
Linking Words
, building new
roads
Use synonyms
 and
highways
Punctuation problem
highways,
show examples
 it will help
people
Use synonyms
 in remote areas because they will get a new way to reach a certain place. Building new
roads
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 help public
trasportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 to work better, let's just think about
busses
Correct your spelling
buses
, new
roads
Use synonyms
 mean
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 route for them, so
this
Linking Words
 can help both sides. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 the government and the political class should
analyze
Change the spelling
analyse
show examples
 the situation and understand what's better for the country,
for example
Linking Words
, if it needs new
roads
Use synonyms
 to connect cities far from each other or if it needs to increase the
consumer number
Correct word order
number of consumers
show examples
 of public transportation.

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task response
Give a more clear answer to the question from the start. Say which side you support, or say clearly that both can be needed.
task response
Add one or two more clear examples to support your ideas, such as how a better bus or train system helps daily life.
task response
Develop each main point more fully. Some ideas are good, but they stop too soon.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each paragraph so the reader can follow your plan more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way. Some parts jump fast from one point to another.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last paragraph stronger by giving a direct final opinion, not only a general idea.
task response
You stayed on the topic and wrote about both public transport and new roads.
task response
You gave clear reasons about pollution, cost of cars, and people in far areas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a simple paragraph plan with a middle part and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You used some linking words like however, because, and for example.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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