Some people think computers are key for students to learn efficiently while some parents feel that students should interact with teachers more. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In today's fast- paced world, many individuals believe that technology like
computer
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plays an important
role
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in learning efficiently.
However
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, other
people
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says, students should interact with teachers more. From my perspective, I believe
child
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can learn more by interacting with instructor as it gives a chance to
child
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to clear their doubts immediately and motivate
child
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to
study
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more.
To begin
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with, teachers
plays
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play
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a pivotal
role
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in shaping
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child's
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children's
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future.
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Teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
Teachers
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know exactly about student like how they perform in class and their weak area of subject.
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Teacher
Correct article usage
A teacher
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can help
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child
Correct article usage
a child
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to clear their doubts right away by asking questions.
This
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further
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helps in achieving good grades and
understand
Wrong verb form
understanding
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the
study
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material better.
Also
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, a
child
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can be scared from
teacher
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,
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due to
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apply
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which
it motivate
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motivates
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them to do their homework daily.
This
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helps in developing good focus in children's education. On the flip side, some
people
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think that computers plays an important
role
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in
child
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education.
People
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believe that, if
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child
Correct article usage
a child
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is using
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computer
Correct article usage
a computer
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, they can
studyand
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study and
solve their problems at any time.
This
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helps
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child
Check wording
children
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to
study
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independent
Replace the word
independently
and
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child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
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know what they need to
study
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more.
Also
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, some
people
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think that, if a
child
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learn by using
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computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
, they will know more things. As
,
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apply
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they will do research which helps to gain more knowledge.
To conclude
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, learning by
computer
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and
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teacher
Correct article usage
a teacher
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are
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apply
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both
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
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a vital
role
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in children's education.
However
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, if the presence of
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teacher
Correct article usage
a teacher
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,
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is present, then
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then
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the results will be more effective. As
,
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apply
show examples
child
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get the one to one sesssion to clear their doubts.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You wrote about teachers and computers, but the side about computers needs more detail.
task response
Give a clear opinion in all parts of the essay. Your view is clear in the start and end, but it should stay strong in body parts too.
task response
Use one real or clear example to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main idea easier to follow. Some lines are hard to read because the grammar and word order are not clear.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words in a careful way. Words like 'however', 'also', and 'to begin with' are good, but some are used in an odd place.
coherence and cohesion
Build each body part around one clear main point, then explain it step by step.
task response
You answered the full question and discussed both views.
task response
Your opinion is clear: you think students learn better with teachers.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words to move from one idea to the next.
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