IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries young people are encouraged to travel or work for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this .

As a young lady who went to
tertiary
Replace the word
university
 directly after completing high
school
Use synonyms
, I can boldly say that starting a university
program
Use synonyms
 without any work or travel experience comes with its pros and cons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, high
school
Use synonyms
 students are often eager and desperate to commence their tertiary education after graduating from high
school
Use synonyms
. Tertiary education is considerably important
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 mostly students from high
school
Use synonyms
 are not
matured
Replace the word
mature
 enough to choose a
program
Use synonyms
 that
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 in alignment with them. A number of high
school
Use synonyms
 graduates do not know the kind of career they should
venture into
Verb problem
pursue
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
at
Punctuation problem
, at
show examples
this
Linking Words
 stage, the most effective decision is to volunteer for jobs across careers. A year of working in various fields and industries will help you rightly decide on what
program
Use synonyms
 to apply for.
For example
Linking Words
, getting a random job like cleaning or even a care job at a hospital will help you understand the duties of a nurse as a prospective nurse. In a case like
this
Linking Words
, you can easily change your mind if you
realize
Change the spelling
realise
show examples
 you are not comfortable with body fluids.
Linking Words
Also
Punctuation problem
Also,
show examples
 people with low grades during
this
Linking Words
 period can take
causes
Check wording
measures
show examples
 to make up for their credits.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 negatives if you decide to work for a
while
Linking Words
 before furthering your education. As each day
pass
Correct subject-verb agreement
passes
show examples
, we
age
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
spending
Punctuation problem
, spending
show examples
 a year or two means you are going to complete your degree years at a later
age
Use synonyms
. Imagine you graduated high
school
Use synonyms
 at
age
Use synonyms
 nineteen and spent two years working before entering the university. Your colleagues are going to be ahead of you
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 can be emotionally draining.
Also
Linking Words
, the brain is faster when you are younger. As we
Use synonyms
age
Punctuation problem
age,
show examples
 we lose
neurons
Punctuation problem
neurons,
show examples
hence
Linking Words
 it might be cognitively difficult for you
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 in classes that require certain terminologies and understanding. In a nutshell, both options have the good and the bad.
Therefore
Linking Words
, whatever option you choose solely depends on your current situation. After high
school
Use synonyms
, you should consider your financial situation, grades attained and the
program
Use synonyms
 or career you want to venture into.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk more about work than travel.
task response
Add one clear idea about travel, like learning about new places, people, and life.
task response
Give a stronger disadvantage, such as losing study habit or money problems.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, and finally.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph and explain it step by step.
task response
You discuss both advantages and disadvantages, so you answer the main task.
task response
You use a real example about hospital work, and this helps your point.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is easy to follow in most parts.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gap year
  • cultural exchange
  • independence
  • personal development
  • career skills
  • global perspective
  • resilience
  • networking
  • academic performance
  • diversity
  • temporary employment
  • self-confidence
  • clarity of purpose
  • volunteering
  • travel experience
What to do next:
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