IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You saw a brochure for a one-week walking tour in the mountains. You're very interested in taking part, but you're not very fit and are worried you wouldn't be able to keep up. Write to the tour operator. In your letter: • Explain why you're interested in the tour. • Ask for information about dates and prices. • Express your concerns about your fitness level.

Dear Mr John I hope you are doing well. I came across your
7 days
Correct word choice
7-day
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 trip to himalyan mountains yesterday
while
Linking Words
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 was
the
Change preposition
in the
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 local shop. I am quite interested
to take
Change preposition
in taking
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 part in
this
Linking Words
 tour since I am a professional wildlife photographer. I have been in
this
Linking Words
 profession since my ealry 2000s and would love to take more pictures from up above the mountain range.
Besides
Linking Words
, I have always wanted to climb the
Himalyan
Correct your spelling
Himalayan
 mountains to explore more of the mother nature and its beauty.
Additionally
Linking Words
, if you could give me insight on when
this
Linking Words
 trip will start
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 well as the price list and if any other expenses will be involved
while
Linking Words
 we explore.
Besides
Linking Words
 all of that i am more worried about my walking capacity as
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 had a knee surgery
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 months ago
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 to some
extent
Add a comma
extent,
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 it
effects
Use the right word
affects
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 my left knee. I hope there will be safety gear and walking holders or sticks to climb the mountains. Looking forward to hearing from you. Janat

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task response
Task response: You answer all parts, but some points need more clear detail.
task response
Task response: Ask the date and price in a more direct way.
task response
Task response: Your worry about fitness is clear, but say more about if you can walk slow or need an easy group.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use simple link words like also, because, and so to join ideas more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Keep one main idea in each part and make your questions more exact.
task response
Task response: You explain well why you want to join the tour.
task response
Task response: You ask about dates and price, so you cover the main points.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your paragraphs are in a good order.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The greeting and closing fit a letter well.
The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

  • Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

  • Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

  • Best regards,
  • Warm wishes,

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