IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people believe that the internet is an amazing invention which has improved dailey life. Others believe that it has caused many problems. Give the advantages and disadvantges of the internet.

The
internet
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 has been responsible for many changes in the world. It became a necessity that people cannot live without, and many think these changes are positive.
Moreover
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, others suggest that it has made life worse.
This
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 essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of the
Internet
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. On the one hand, the positive aspects of the
internet
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 are various. Primarily, it proved itself to be the best tool for spreading edutainment content.
This
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 happens because it usually pays the content creators more than other types.
Second,
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getting information happens with a click of a button.
For example
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, many parents, when they were younger, used to look through books in the library just to get the exact same piece of information that is quickly accessed nowadays.
Finally
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, it opens new job opportunities that have never existed before. It can
also
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 allow people to work in a company that operates in another country.
On the other hand
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, the world has
also
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 experienced disadvantages from the
internet
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.
Furthermore
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, the biggest side effect of it is that it wastes time without notice. Many studies have been conducted, reporting that a third of teenagers waste their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 on the
internet
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.
In addition
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, fake news is more likely to spread with
this
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 tool.
This
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 can cause serious damage to the government and the country's economy.
Also
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, cyberbullying is a big concern that many avoid, and it can break a person's life , especially for younger children and teenagers. In conclusion, the
internet
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 is a double-edged piece of technology. Without question, the positive aspects of it are obvious. Even though
this
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 is true, there is still a dark side that cannot be ignored.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more even way. Your good side is clear, but some bad side points need a bit more detail.
task response
Give one clear example for each main point if you can. This will make your ideas stronger.
task response
Some ideas are good but a little general. Add one more short reason or result to explain them.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Some words like 'furthermore' do not fit the bad side paragraph well.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each sentence clearly follows the one before it. A few parts feel a bit sudden.
task response
You answer the question and talk about both advantages and disadvantages.
task response
Your main ideas are easy to find in each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Words like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'For example', and 'Finally' help guide the reader.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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