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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In recent years, many people have adopted a minimalist lifestyle, choosing to own only essential possessions. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this way of living?

Before the 18th century, a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 weren’t very rich and owned a few items at most. When the
industrial revolution
Fix capitalization
Industrial Revolution
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 came, many products became cheaper, and businesses started to encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to purchase more things in order to make more money.
However
Linking Words
, recently, it has become a fad to drop out of
this
Linking Words
 consumerist culture
to
Correct word choice
and
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 adopt a minimalist lifestyle. What reasons are there, and what are the costs? To start, several problems come with owning heaps of belongings. They take up a lot of space, and many of the items won’t even get used very often
if
Punctuation problem
, if
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 at all.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, some,
such
Linking Words
 as various electronics, require maintenance and resources to be used.
For instance
Linking Words
, watching entertainment on television is becoming less popular because computers and mobile phones can easily replace
them
Fix the agreement mistake
it
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while
Linking Words
 saving on electricity by unifying multiple functions into one.
In addition
Linking Words
, the clutter makes maintaining accommodation,
such
Linking Words
 as cleaning dusty spaces, difficult.
This
Linking Words
 is why
people
Use synonyms
 are opting out of
this
Linking Words
 lifestyle
:
Punctuation problem
;
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 doing so makes households more efficient and, for some, more attractive.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the aforementioned minimalist lifestyle has negative consequences, too. Only storing the essentials severely restricts creativity and expression. Housing becomes unappealing and dull, and flat walls dominate the interior.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, cluttered and lively rooms allow
people
Use synonyms
 to express themselves in the form of showing off what belongings they hold dear or what they’ve collected. To add, owning lots of stuff might discourage
from
Change preposition
apply
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buying products that aren’t needed. Contrastingly, a blank interior may spark a need to fill the emptiness. To summarise,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 way of living saves space and makes for a more efficient and clean living space, it comes at the cost of character. Your home determines a part of who you are as a person, and it’s up to you to decide whether you wish to be efficient or expressive.

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task response
Answer the full question more directly. The task asks for advantages and disadvantages, but your first paragraph talks more about reasons why people choose this life.
task response
Make your main ideas clearer. Some points are good, but a few sentences are hard to follow, so the reader may not fully see your meaning.
task response
Use examples more carefully. The example about TV, computers, and phones is relevant, but it needs a clearer link to minimalism.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good. Keep this simple structure.
coherence cohesion
Some linking is good, but a few sentences do not connect well. For example, the point about owning lots of stuff may discourage buying more seems unclear and may confuse the reader.
coherence cohesion
Check sentence flow between ideas. A few parts feel sudden, so add clearer links between one idea and the next.
task response
You clearly show both sides of the topic, which helps the reader see your view.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction gives background and leads into the topic well.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion is clear and gives a final opinion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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