IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In recent years, many people have adopted a minimalist lifestyle, choosing to own only essential possessions. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this way of living?

Minimalism
Use synonyms
 is a popular and easily adopted lifestyle. It encourages us to throw out
unuseful
Correct word choice
useless
show examples
 belongings and avoid buying stuff without
real
Correct article usage
a real
show examples
 purpose. Its design is plain spaces, simple furniture. One of its main advantages is that
people
Use synonyms
 who adopt
minimalism
Use synonyms
 in their lives are financially better off. When
minimalism
Use synonyms
 encourages us that the
less
Correct determiner usage
fewer
show examples
 products you own
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 better, we save money by not buying
such
Linking Words
 unnecessary things. That way
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 can either spend money in other places where they see fit or save money for the future. Another big advantage is that for a lot of
people
Use synonyms
heavily
Punctuation problem
, heavily
show examples
 overdecorated rooms can be seen as stressful and crowded, like there isn’t any room to breathe
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 with
Use synonyms
minimalism
Add a comma
minimalism,
show examples
 there is none of that.
People
Use synonyms
 have space and the calm, plain colours reduce stress.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
minimalism
Use synonyms
 helps
out
Rephrase
apply
show examples
with financial problems and with your mental state. But
minimalism
Use synonyms
 has its disadvantages.
Minimalism
Use synonyms
 in the long term can feel very empty and even like something is missing.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 you come home from your friend's very decorated
house
Use synonyms
 that looks stunning
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 you see your
house
Use synonyms
 that doesn’t even look like someone lives in it because of how minimalistic it is. It can be sad that in your
Use synonyms
house
Punctuation problem
house,
show examples
 it isn’t seen what kind of person lives in it
since
Punctuation problem
, since
show examples
 in homes that have a lot of belongings and things, it’s usually a person putting
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their personality in a
house
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
minimalism
Use synonyms
 is an easy and affectionate way of living in some aspects of life, but it can feel very empty.
Additionally
Linking Words
, if we don’t oversimplify and still have some belongings
laying
Wrong verb form
lying
show examples
 around
Use synonyms
minimalism
Punctuation problem
, minimalism
show examples
 is the way to go.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
For task response, answer both sides in a more full way. You write about good and bad points, but some ideas need more detail.
task response
Use more clear examples. You give one example about a friend's house, but the good side also needs a real example.
task response
Some ideas are good, but a few are too general. Try to explain why and how more often.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. This is good.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with more care. Some parts are easy to follow, but a few sentences feel long or not fully smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main idea the center of one paragraph. This will help your writing feel more organized.
task response
You answer the question and discuss both advantages and disadvantages.
task response
Your main points are relevant: money, stress, and lack of personal feeling.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction and a conclusion, which helps the essay feel complete.
coherence and cohesion
Paragraphing is mostly clear, and the order of ideas is easy to understand.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: