IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In recent years, many people have adopted a minimalist lifestyle, choosing to own only essential possessions. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this way of living? (write at least 220 words)

In recent years, many
people
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 have chosen to adopt a minimalist
lifestyle
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. They choose to keep only essential possessions and get rid of everything else. In
this
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essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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way
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 of living.
Firstly
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, a minimalist
lifestyle
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 is great for
people
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 who can’t spare time to clean their living
space
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.
For example
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, a
minimalistic
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 apartment is much easier to clean than a cluttered one, resulting in more time for rest, social life and more important things. It is a comfortable
way
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 of living for
people
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 who work very time-consuming and stressful jobs like nurses, doctors, policemen, lawyers and so on.
Consequently
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, coming home to a clean and tidy
space
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 provides comfort and relaxation after a hard day.
Secondly
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,
this
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way
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 of living is very suitable for big families. It can be difficult to maintain a clean
space
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 when living with children, but it is necessary. Children should be provided with a clean and safe environment so they can learn, grow and mature.
This
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 eventually results in good grades and education, increasing productivity and creativity.
However
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,
this
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lifestyle
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 can take away self-expression. I think
this
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 choice of living is very subtle and bland. Of course, some
people
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 prefer a
minimalistic
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 environment, and
that is
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also
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 good, but some
people
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, artists,
for example
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, prefer a
space
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that is
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 theirs to experiment with and to express themselves. To add, some
people
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 might find
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minimalistic
Correct article usage
a minimalistic
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lifestyle
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 cold and unwelcoming. They see their home as a
way
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 to show others who they are.
Also
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, to be surrounded by their belongings helps them feel safe and comfortable.
As a result
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, they feel uncomfortable and unwelcome in
such
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minimalistic
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 spaces. In conclusion, a
minimalistic
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way
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 of living is a great choice for big families or
people
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 who work stressful jobs, because it makes it easier to clean and maintain.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 who like to collect different things and to express themselves through their surroundings might find it very boring and uncomfortable.

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task response
Write a more clear answer to both good and bad sides in each main part.
task response
Add one or two more clear and real examples to support your ideas.
task response
Some ideas are too broad, like good grades and creativity. Explain how minimalism leads to this.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow, but some links between ideas are weak. Use clearer topic sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. This will make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with repetition of words like minimalistic and lifestyle. Try simple change in wording.
task response
You answer both advantages and disadvantages, so the task is complete.
task response
Your ideas are mostly clear and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words like firstly, secondly, however, and in conclusion well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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