IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In order to solve traffic problems,governments should tax private car owner heavily and use the money to improve public transportation .what are advantages and disadvantages of such a solution.

In
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
 era, traffic is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 major problem
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 be seen in every city in the world. There is a statement that for improving public means of transportation government should tax private
car
Use synonyms
owners
Use synonyms
. As per my
perception
Add a comma
perception,
show examples
 there are benefits
as well as
Linking Words
 drawbacks to
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 so. On the one hand, the major advantage of the rising public transport and
tax
Wrong verb form
taxing
show examples
 personal vehicle operators is pollution. If
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
show examples
 public
tranportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 rather than private
means
Punctuation problem
means,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 there will be less pollution
as well as
Linking Words
 less traffic on the roads
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will not cause any delays and harm the
environmnment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
For example
Linking Words
-
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 There is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 survey done by MK college students at Gurgaon, India,
it
Correct word choice
where it
show examples
 was observed that
people
Use synonyms
 usually
travels
Correct subject-verb agreement
travel
show examples
 there with the help of buses and trains
by
Change preposition
,
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 which
the
Verb problem
helps maintain the
show examples
 air quality of the city
remained good
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the main drawback of taxing private
car
Use synonyms
owners
Use synonyms
 and
put
Wrong verb form
putting
show examples
 money in
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
tansportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 sector is
great
Correct article usage
a great
show examples
 drop in
Use synonyms
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
. When the government
putting
Wrong verb form
puts
show examples
 heavy taxes on the purchases of new personal cars
than
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 most
of the
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 will not buy
personal
Correct article usage
a personal
show examples
car
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will cause
drop
Correct article usage
a drop
show examples
 in the
Use synonyms
economy of the country
Correct word order
country's economy
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
 affect
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 gross domestic product.
For example
Linking Words
-
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 In Pakistan,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
there are
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of taxes on buying goods
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 the
people
Use synonyms
their
Use the right word
there
show examples
 hesitate to buy costly assets
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, due
show examples
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which leads the
economy
Use synonyms
 to bottom. In conclusion, there are advantages
as well as
Linking Words
 disadvantages of taxing private
cars
Check wording
car
show examples
owners
Use synonyms
 and
put
Wrong verb form
putting
show examples
 that money
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 improving public transportation are pollution and
Use synonyms
economy
Replace the word
economic
 drop. To cure
this
Linking Words
, the government should generate some income
by some
Change preposition
through
show examples
 other plans, not only taxing personal
car
Use synonyms
owners
Use synonyms
 to improve public means of transportation.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about good points and bad points, but each side needs a bit more detail.
task response
Make your main idea very clear in each body paragraph. Put one clear topic sentence, then explain it, then give one example.
task response
Your examples are related, but they feel weak or not fully clear. Use simple and direct examples.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good. Keep this 4-part structure.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking is used, like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand', but many sentences are not smooth. Use short and clear links such as 'First', 'Also', 'As a result', 'However'.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas do not connect well. For example, the point about economy needs a clearer step-by-step link to the tax on cars.
task response
You answer the question by writing about both advantages and disadvantages.
task response
You give examples for both body paragraphs, which helps support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
You include an introduction and a conclusion, so your essay has a full shape.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphing is clear: one paragraph for advantages and one for disadvantages.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • emissions
  • eco-friendly
  • carbon footprint
  • public transport systems
  • infrastructure
  • reliability
  • frequency
  • affordable
  • economic burden
  • disproportionately affect
  • mobility
  • commuting
  • overcrowded
  • automobile industry
  • manufacturing
  • job losses
  • combating climate change
  • tax revenue
  • government policy
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