The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

The line graphs
illustrates the
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
the
percentage
Use synonyms
of homes that used home appliances and the amount of time
people
Use synonyms
spent on housework every week for a century from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that the
percentage
Use synonyms
of home appliance ownership showed an upward trend over the given period,
while
Linking Words
the number of
hours
Use synonyms
of house chores followed the opposite trend.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
the figures recorded the highest and the lowest in the final year. In detail, regarding
people
Use synonyms
who owned electrical appliances, including washing machines,
vaccum
Replace the word
vacuum
cleaners, and refrigerators, their figures started at 40%, 30%, and 2%, each in 1920.
Then
Linking Words
, the percentages of washing machines and
vaccum
Replace the word
vacuum
cleaners showed a considerable rise to 70%. After
Linking Words
then
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
, the gap between them
in creased
Verb problem
increased
show examples
as the
percentage
Use synonyms
of washing machines remained fairly stable at around 70% over the next six decades,
whereas
Linking Words
that of vacuum cleaners increased and reached a plateau at 100% from 2000 to 2019.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
of refrigerators stood at almost 0% before showing a dramatic growth until 1980.
Then
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
remained stable at 100% from 1980 to 2019.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the number of
hours
Use synonyms
that
people
Use synonyms
spent on house chores began at the highest point of 50
hours
Use synonyms
in the first year. After 20 years, it decreased significantly to 20
hours
Use synonyms
. Surprisingly, since more
people
Use synonyms
purchased home appliances over time, the number of
hours
Use synonyms
for housework showed a gradual fall to only 10
hours
Use synonyms
in the final year.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, people, hours with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • electrical appliances
  • housework
  • time frame
  • variables
  • trends
  • significant milestones
  • turning points
  • correlation
  • reduction
  • influenced
  • societal implications
  • quality of life
  • gender roles
  • economic implications
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