IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Team/group activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are played alone. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

It is often argued that group activities are more beneficial and plays significant role compared to exercise which are done alone. I firmly believe that group activity can teach more skills for life.
This
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 essay will elaborate on the reasons supporting
this
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 viewpoint. The most compelling reason to support
this
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 view is that activities done with
others
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 build
team
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 collaboration skills and confidence.
For instance
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, children in schools are given tasks which mostly involves collabrating with other children.
Moreover
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, during these exercises , schools focused on identifying children who have the ability
of understanding
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to understand
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others
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' strengths and weaknesses and utilise their strengths to execute a job successfully.
Due to
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 these exercices it helped them to survive in real world scenario and deal with real issues which requires collabration with
others
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instead
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 of trying to resolve them by themselves
Furthermore
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, another significant factor would be the knowledge exchange opportunity. In a recent study in Japan, employees who were given group activity in a training program showed notable improvement in their daily task comparing to those who worked alone.
Moreover
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, it helped them to fast-track their learning process and gave
more
Correct pronoun usage
them more
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 exposure in the company. Nowadays, more and more companies are focusing on
team
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 building exercises and trying to filter the employees who are good at collaborating with
others
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 and giving them a higher salary than other employees.
To conclude
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, I am of firm conviction that
team
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 activities
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 always beneficial to everyone.
This
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 is primarily because it enhances individuals'
team
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 collaboration skills, confidance and learning experience.

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task response
Make your main answer more exact. Say clearly that you agree, and keep this same view all through the essay.
task response
Add one more clear idea about why group work teaches life skills. This will make your answer fuller.
task response
Use more direct examples. Your Japan study example is helpful, but it needs a bit more detail to feel stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Put each main idea in its own body part and start with a clear topic sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like also, for example, because, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long. Break them into shorter parts so your meaning is easier to follow.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion from the start.
task response
You include examples from school and work, and they fit the topic well.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear beginning, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is easy to follow in most parts.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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