IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People nowadays can buy products from abroad Does the advantages outweigh disadvantages

The possibility of
purchaising
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purchasing
products
Use synonyms
 from a foreign country presents not only
advatages
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advantages
 but downsides
aswell
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as well
. In the
following
Add a comma
following,
show examples
 I will discuss
this
Linking Words
hiably
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highly
 interesting topic by
elabarate
Wrong verb form
elaborating
show examples
 on both of these sides. Starting with the
disadvantages
Punctuation problem
disadvantages,
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 it is crucial to mention the negative
remifications
Correct your spelling
ramifications
 for local shops. Local
shops
Check wording
shop
show examples
 owners will more than
like
Rephrase
likely
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 notice
an
Correct article usage
a
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 decrease in their monthly income since potential
costumers
Use the right word
customers
show examples
 might prefer buying their
products
Use synonyms
 from foreign shops
due to
Linking Words
 a wider selection of
products
Use synonyms
 and possibly lower prices.
Moreover
Linking Words
, people might even support child work or horrible and inhuman working conditions by buying
products
Use synonyms
 from nations like Bangladesh, China or Cambodia.
Due to
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 globalisation and digitalisation
people
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, people
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 are able to order
products
Use synonyms
rom
Correct your spelling
from
 those countries with only
one
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 click without any awareness
for
Change preposition
of
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 the production chain.
However
Linking Words
,
one
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 must admit that
their
Use the right word
there
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 are advantages that come with the
privilige
Correct your spelling
privilege
 of being able to buy
preducts
Correct your spelling
products
 made in other countries.
One
Use synonyms
 upside for costumers is that it gives them access to an larger variety of
products
Use synonyms
 with an more affordable price as wellproducts with an more affordable price as well.
In addition
Linking Words
, businesses benefit because their range of potential
costumer
Use the right word
customers
show examples
 increases dramatically
which
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, which
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 can boost the business and open new doors and present them with incredible opportunities.
Besides
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, from a
costumers
Check wording
customer's
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 point of
view
Add a comma
view,
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 you could argue that businesses
forced to
Verb problem
apply
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were forced to improve their
products
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 if they
would want
Wrong verb form
wanted
show examples
 to stay
competable
Correct your spelling
competitive
. In conclusion,
one
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 could arque the answer to the given answer differs depending on what interests we look at. From a point of
a
Check wording
view of a
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business or
one
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 costumer the advantages
outwiegh
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the disadvantages
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 if we widen the perspective to society or a whole
system
Punctuation problem
system,
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 the answer might be a
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
one
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer the question more clearly. Say if the good side is more than the bad side, and keep this view strong in the whole essay.
task response
Give more support for each main idea. Add one simple example or one clear result for each point.
coherence and cohesion
Make your ideas easier to follow. Use clear topic sentences and put one main idea in each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Good simple words are first, also, however, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check for repeated or broken sentences because they make the flow weak.
task response
You discuss both good and bad sides of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking words are used, such as moreover, however, and in conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • durability
  • sustainability
  • longevity
  • affordability
  • consumerism
  • waste
  • environmental impact
  • value for money
  • customer satisfaction
  • brand loyalty
  • consumption
  • economic growth
What to do next:
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