IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You have discovered a lot of rubbish in a lake near where you live. In the past, the lake had always been clean. Write a letter to the local council. In the letter: · describe the type of rubbish that you saw in the lake · explain where you think the waste has come from · suggest what the council should do about the problem

Dear Sir, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter regarding the
lake
Use synonyms
 which is near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my house. It is sukhna
lake
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 used to be clean and clear in past, but now it
litter
Wrong verb form
is littered
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I would like to tell you about the situation of
Use synonyms
lake
Correct article usage
the lake
show examples
. It is not clear
the
Correct word choice
whether the
show examples
 water bottles and cold drinks
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
are mostly seen there.
Moreover
Linking Words
, people those are living near
they
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 use to
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
walk there and the food packets and other trash
things throw
Wrong verb form
are thrown
show examples
 into the
lake
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 me,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
all wastage comes from the general public
as well as
Linking Words
 natural things
such
Linking Words
 as the dry leaves
fall
Correct pronoun usage
that fall
show examples
 from tress fall into
Use synonyms
lake
Correct article usage
the lake
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 no any care takers clean it. The water seems so dirty
it
Correct word choice
that it
show examples
 looks
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
black
instead
Linking Words
 of white.
Lastly
Linking Words
. I would like to give some suggestions, so we could save the
lake
Use synonyms
 before it
will destroy
Wrong verb form
is destroyed
show examples
 properly. Give penatily to the persons those throw litter into it.
Additionally
Linking Words
, need to hire some
secrurity
Replace the word
security
also
Linking Words
 some
guaurd
Correct your spelling
guard
 who
always
Verb problem
is always
show examples
 there and
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
show examples
 care of it. I hope you like my suggestions and take
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
desicion
Correct your spelling
decision
. I look forward from you. Your Sincerely, Kajol.

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task response
Task response: You answer all 3 points, but some ideas are not clear. Say what rubbish you saw, where it came from, and what the council should do in a more direct way.
task response
Task response: Use a more polite letter style. For example, say 'I am writing to report a problem with the lake near my home.'
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Put one main idea in each paragraph. Paragraph 1: problem. Paragraph 2: rubbish. Paragraph 3: where it came from. Paragraph 4: what the council should do.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use simple linking words well, like 'First', 'Also', 'Because of this', and 'Finally'. This will make the letter easier to follow.
task response
Task response: You covered all the bullet points in the question.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your letter has a clear opening and ending, and you try to group ideas into paragraphs.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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