IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows changes in average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with the average house prices in 1989.

The bar chart gives information about
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
changed
Replace the word
change
 in typical house prices in New York,
Madrid
Use synonyms
, Tokyo,
Frankfurt
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
London
Correct word choice
and London
show examples
, throughout the
period
Use synonyms
 from 1990 to
2002
Punctuation problem
2002,
show examples
 compared with 1989.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
figures
Use synonyms
 for New York,
Madrid
Use synonyms
, Tokyo and
London
Use synonyms
 showed an increasing trend,
while
Linking Words
 the
figures
Use synonyms
 for
Frankfurt
Use synonyms
 declined over the
period
Use synonyms
. The
figures
Use synonyms
 for four countries illustrated an upward
trends
Fix the agreement mistake
trend
show examples
. The number of New York and
London
Use synonyms
 grew the most. They started
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 about -5% for
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and -8% for
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.
Afterwards
Add a comma
Afterwards,
show examples
 during the
period
Use synonyms
 1996 and 2002, the
figures
Use synonyms
 significantly rose, 5% for
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and 12% for
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
. In the second place
stayed
Verb problem
were
show examples
Madrid
Use synonyms
 and Tokyo. The
figures
Use synonyms
 for
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 two
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
 started at 2% and -8% in 1990-1995,
then
Linking Words
slight
Replace the word
slightly
 rose to 4% and -5% respectively.
By
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
 the
figures
Use synonyms
 for
Frankfurt
Use synonyms
 showed
downward
Correct article usage
a downward
show examples
 trend. They started from about 3%,
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was
a slight
Replace the word
slightly
 higher
the
Correct word choice
than the
show examples
 indicators for
Madrid
Use synonyms
,
subsequently
Linking Words
 percentage
minimal
Verb problem
showed a minimal
show examples
 decrease to 2% in
Use synonyms
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
 1996-2002. It is interesting to note that the
figures
Use synonyms
 for
London
Use synonyms
 increased the most, more
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
 three
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the number of
Frankfurt
Use synonyms
 decreased the least,
only
Change preposition
by only
show examples
 for 1%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words madrid, frankfurt, london, period, figures with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average house prices
  • over the period
  • significant increase
  • strong demand
  • population influx
  • economic growth
  • stable
  • slight increase
  • limited housing supply
  • economic stagnation
  • dramatic rise
  • surging
  • reflect a boom
  • investment in infrastructure
  • attractive place to live
  • decline in average house prices
  • economic challenges
  • out-migration
  • balanced market
  • demand meets supply
  • drastic price fluctuations
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