Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opionion.

Some
people
Use synonyms
think that
advertisment
Replace the word
advertising
is a perfect way to make us buy things ,
while
Linking Words
others disagree with
this
Linking Words
statement. I believe that it is successfully persuading us to have the project.
This
Linking Words
essay will talk about these two points of view.  On one hand,
advertisment
Correct your spelling
advertisement
will be for
spesific
Correct your spelling
specific
people
Use synonyms
or culture that it
represent
Correct subject-verb agreement
represents
show examples
their need, so when the product
will be represent
Wrong verb form
is represented
show examples
by someone or
somthing
Correct your spelling
something
that
it touch
Correct subject-verb agreement
touches
show examples
them from inside will attract them to buy.
For example
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, a
hair
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oil company for
hair
Use synonyms
length will choose a long
hair
Use synonyms
representtive to advertise
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to
persue short
Correct word order
people who want short hair
show examples
hair
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
to have it because it represent somthing they want
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
find it
as a
Change preposition
an
show examples
old way to make them pay attention because nowadays
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
open
Correct subject-verb agreement
opens
show examples
their
eye
Fix the agreement mistake
eyes
show examples
to everything. To illustrate,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the internet we can find
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real
experincese
Correct your spelling
experiences
for a
hair
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oil product with
onest
Correct your spelling
one
opinion from
people
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
it will be convincing to try the product that the advertising.
For example
Linking Words
, seeing someone in TikTok trying a
hair
Use synonyms
oil with every week
hair
Use synonyms
progress is more
persuing
Correct your spelling
pursuing
.
To conclude
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,
people
Use synonyms
have different
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
about
advertisment
Correct your spelling
advertisement
, but in my
opinions
Check wording
opinion
show examples
I think it is a useful material, if it
mimic
Correct subject-verb agreement
mimics
show examples
our needs.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully, then make your own view very clear all through the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
task response
Explain your examples more, so each main idea feels stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like 'first', 'also', 'however', and 'because'.
task response
Check word choice and grammar, because some lines are hard to understand.
task response
You discussed both views and gave your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You used examples about hair oil and TikTok to support ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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