IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The internet is an amazing invention which has changed the world. Many people think it is for the best while others think it causes problems. Give the advantages and disadvantages of the internet.

With the
advancment
Correct your spelling
advancement
 of interventions,
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 became
on
Use the right word
one
show examples
 of the
human's essentails
Check wording
human essentials
show examples
.
People
Use synonyms
 in differnt ages
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are using
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and need it in
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 daily
life
Use synonyms
. Eventhough
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
internet
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 invaded the world in education , health, economic, security and
govermental
Correct your spelling
governmental
 documents. In
this
Linking Words
 paragraph will share the advantages and disadvantages of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 on person and
society
Replace the word
societal
 levels. There are many advantages of using
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
.
First,
Linking Words
ease of communication, which
keep
Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 closer to each other, so
people
Use synonyms
 from Australia can have a
vedio
Correct your spelling
video
 call with
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 family in Kuwait with zero effort.
Second,
Linking Words
Raise
Fix capitalization
raise
show examples
 family and country income. Based on
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 statistics for
ministry
Correct article usage
the Ministry
show examples
 of
comerical
Correct your spelling
Commerce
 in Kuwait , data shows that from every three families
two
Punctuation problem
, two
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
 online business, which means
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 expenses are controlled.
Third,
Linking Words
ease the
govermental
Correct your spelling
governmental
 work. With the use of
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Add a comma
internet,
show examples
 many applications and
website
Fix the agreement mistake
websites
show examples
 are created to help
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 get
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 documents and other
transaction
Fix the agreement mistake
transactions
show examples
 very easily. By implemnted
internet
Use synonyms
 in the
orgnization
Correct your spelling
organisation
, the benefits will
shown
Verb problem
be shown
show examples
 in employment performance,
less
Correct determiner usage
fewer
show examples
 errors,
less
Correct determiner usage
fewer
show examples
 efforts,
easy
Replace the word
easier
 to control and offcourse
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 satisfaction.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are disadvantages of using
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, that threat
people
Use synonyms
's
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
First,
Linking Words
Nueroglogical
Correct your spelling
neurological
 issue. Recent studies in pubmed shown
after
Correct word choice
that after
show examples
 the pandamic on 2020
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 level of sezuire raised 20% compared to 2019. Which means,
Most of
Change preposition
most
show examples
 kids are using
Ipads
Fix capitalization
iPads
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 more than 5 hours a day.
Second,
Linking Words
fruad
Correct your spelling
fraud
 and stolen data. The war on
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 became how to
safe
Verb problem
keep
show examples
 your data
away
Correct word choice
safe
show examples
 from hackers. Ministries
did
Verb problem
made
show examples
 a great effort by setting rules, regulation and raise syperscurity in the whole
systems
Check wording
system
show examples
.
Finally
Linking Words
,
less
Correct determiner usage
fewer
show examples
 physical activities.
People
Use synonyms
 spend
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 time on Mobile, laptop and Netflix more than gym or walking, so that
with threat
Correct word order
they put their bones and muscles at risk
show examples
thier
Use synonyms
 bones and muscles. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 can help or
threat
Replace the word
threaten
people
Use synonyms
's
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 based on how
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 deal with it. The outcome of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
on the benefits shown that advantages
Correct word order
shows that the benefits
show examples
 are more than
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
. Syperscurity most be
focus
Correct article usage
a focus
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
and raise
physicial
Correct your spelling
physical
 activities
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 daily
life
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. You talk about good and bad points, but some ideas need more detail.
task response
Add one clear opinion in the end. Say clearly if the internet is more good or more bad, and keep this idea clear from start to end.
task response
Use examples that are easy to trust and explain them more. Some examples are good, but they need clearer links to your main point.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph follow one simple plan: main idea, explanation, example.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, and as a result. Do not use too many long or unclear lines.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar because some parts are hard to follow, and this hurts flow.
task response
You answer the full question and write about both advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
You use points from daily life like family, work, health, and safety, so your ideas feel real.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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