IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people prefer staying in hotels when they travel, while others prefer renting holiday homes for a short period of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There is no denying that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
where we stay is important for a good trip,
while
Linking Words
 some believe that
hotels
Use synonyms
is a
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more comfortable and cheaper than others, some argue that
holiday
Use synonyms
homes
Use synonyms
 are a good
for
Check wording
option for
show examples
 a short trip
, in
Punctuation problem
. In
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views and express my opinion. On one hand, staying in
hotels
Use synonyms
 have many advantages for travelers,
Moreover
Linking Words
,
hotels
Use synonyms
 provide many things
such
Linking Words
 as swimming pool, cafe and small lobby, and for a quick trip many families prefer
hotels
Use synonyms
 because there are a playground for their kids,
furthermore
Linking Words
, always
hotels
Use synonyms
 good for individuals because it always safe and there is a man front of the door and Reception, a research by university in London found that about 25% of travelers choose
hotels
Use synonyms
 only because they feel safety. On other hand, mostly
holiday
Use synonyms
homes
Use synonyms
 provide big home with many rooms,
moreover
Linking Words
, big families prefer rent
holiday
Use synonyms
homes
Use synonyms
 because of that and because usually the
homes
Use synonyms
 rental is possible for people, and unlike
hotels
Use synonyms
holiday
Use synonyms
homes
Use synonyms
 are flexible
for example
Linking Words
, you can make a deal with the owner and choose what time you will chick in and how much money you can spend for a day and how long yow will stay, and some owners give the people gifts or sometimes they help them.
Linking Words
for
Fix capitalization
For
show examples
 example, there is an app
call
Wrong verb form
called
show examples
 Airbnb
is
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 helps individuals to talk to the owners. In conclusion, there is no easy answer for
this
Linking Words
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 I tend to believe
hotels
Use synonyms
more
Verb problem
are more
show examples
 comfortable than
holiday
Use synonyms
homes
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more clear in each part. Say one clear point, then explain it, then give one short example.
coherence cohesion
Use better linking words. For example: on the one hand, on the other hand, for example, in conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Some ideas are not fully explained. Add one more line to show why hotels are good and why holiday homes are good.
task achievement
You answered both views and gave your opinion, but your opinion is very short. Explain why you choose hotels in a more clear way.
task achievement
Your examples are a bit weak or not very specific. Give one real or clear example from your life or from a common travel case.
task achievement
Stay close to the question. Focus only on hotels and holiday homes for short travel.
task achievement
You discussed both sides of the topic.
task achievement
You gave your own opinion in the end.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You used some linking words like moreover, furthermore, and in conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: