IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

In
this
Linking Words
 period of time,
major of
Correct determiner usage
most
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 spend a lot of time at
Use synonyms
museum
Correct article usage
the museum
show examples
from
Change preposition
out of
show examples
 their
interested
Replace the word
interest
.
However
Linking Words
, almost all of
museums
Correct article usage
the museums
show examples
was charged
Wrong verb form
charge
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 for
visitors
Use synonyms
 who want to visit that
musuem
Correct your spelling
museum
. Regarding
charge
Use synonyms
, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can paid
in contrast
Linking Words
 some of
people
Use synonyms
 thought it was
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 thought musuem should be free for
visitors
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
advantages and disadvantages
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will
explain
Wrong verb form
be explained in the
show examples
 following paragraph.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, advantages can classification in two points.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
show examples
 who make
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 art can have
profit
Correct article usage
a profit
show examples
 to return to
expenditure
Correct article usage
the expenditure
show examples
 of
equipments
Check wording
equipment
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, some
Use synonyms
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
show examples
 could
to
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 paid
many
Change preposition
for many
show examples
of
Check wording
pieces of
show examples
 equipments which use for creating arts and some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
materials
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 expensive.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
visitors
Use synonyms
 will be one of
supporter
Correct article usage
the supporter
show examples
artist
Use synonyms
 is
due to
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 who was fanclub of
Use synonyms
artist
Correct article usage
the artist
show examples
they
Punctuation problem
; they
show examples
 will
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
want to
support
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 they did not
known
Wrong verb form
know
show examples
 how to
support
Use synonyms
 that was the reason that they can
support
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
artist
Correct article usage
the artist
show examples
 by
paid
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
 a
charge
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
. Regarding disadvantages,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 can seperate with two main points. Begin,
visitors
Use synonyms
 who only want to
saw
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
 the art and take a picture
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
think it waste of
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 pay a
charge
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
visitors
Use synonyms
 who only come
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 take a picture and if they have to spend
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 for admission they will change to exist of
museum
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
museum
Correct article usage
the museum
show examples
was
Wrong verb form
charged
show examples
charge
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
visitors
Punctuation problem
visitors,
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
visitors
Use synonyms
 did not receive good services or benefits
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
can make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
 will not want to
admission
Replace the word
visit
 again.
To conclude
Linking Words
, major of
museum
Use synonyms
 have
charge
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
admission
,
Check wording
fees, while
show examples
while
Linking Words
 some
Use synonyms
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 are free.
From
Change preposition
For
show examples
this
Linking Words
 reason,
visitors
Use synonyms
 who want to
support
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
artist they
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
show examples
 can
support
Use synonyms
 by
this
Linking Words
 ways and
also
Linking Words
artist
Use synonyms
 can have profit of
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 to return expenditure of
equipments
Check wording
equipment
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
visitors
Use synonyms
 thought it is waste of
money
Use synonyms
 for them because they did not receive services or
some
Correct determiner usage
any
show examples
 benefits. If
outweigh both
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 good points and draw
backs
Punctuation problem
backs,
show examples
actually
Punctuation problem
actually,
show examples
draw backs
Check wording
the drawbacks
show examples
 are mostly
many
Correct word choice
that many
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 will change they mind to
exist
Verb problem
exit
show examples
 the
museum
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Give a clear answer in the first part and keep this answer the same to the end.
task response
Explain why the good points are stronger or why the bad points are stronger with clear reasons.
task response
Use examples that are more real and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each part and add support for it.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like first, also, however, and in conclusion in a clear way.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects well to the next one.
task response
You wrote about both good points and bad points.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You tried to use examples to support your ideas.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
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