IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In some countries, the difference in age between parents and children is generally greater than it was in the past. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Although
Linking Words
 there is a huge gap between
children
Use synonyms
 and parents compared to recent times and the past, I strongly agree that nowadays it is completely different
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the advantages probably outweigh the drawbacks.
Firstly
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, the difference in
age
Use synonyms
 between parents and
children
Use synonyms
 is generally high, in the past,
people
Use synonyms
 used to get married at a young
age
Use synonyms
, and
then
Linking Words
, they had
children
Use synonyms
 much more quickly,
in contrast
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 recently don't marry as quickly as it was in the past,
therefore
Linking Words
, a huge gap in
age
Use synonyms
 between parents and their
children
Use synonyms
 is expected.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the advantages of
this
Linking Words
 change are complex, because when it comes to marrying at a delayed
age
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 causes some consequences,
for example
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
 are encouraged to get married at a late
age
Use synonyms
, they don't care about their
children
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 as much as they do when they get married at a young
age
Use synonyms
, a young
age
Use synonyms
 where the top of a person's energy is. On the whole, I strongly agree that the advantages outweigh the drawbacks. In the past,
people
Use synonyms
 used to get married at a young
age
Use synonyms
, but nowadays, they don't care about their
children
Use synonyms
 as much as they
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 in the past.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly why the good points are stronger than the bad points.
task response
Add one clear bad point and one clear good point. Then explain both.
task response
Use a simple real example to support your idea.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph about one main point only.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear linking words like First, However, For example, and In conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Do not repeat the same idea in the conclusion. Summarize your main reasons.
task response
You gave a clear opinion in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body, and conclusion.
task response
You tried to compare past and present, which fits the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • generation gap
  • intergenerational
  • fulfilling
  • complications
  • stigma
  • judgment
  • advancing age
  • life experience
  • wisdom
  • financial stability
  • opportunity
  • patience
  • maturity
  • relationships
  • communication
  • physical energy
  • social
  • learning
  • understanding
  • age difference
  • older parents
  • risk
  • challenges
  • young children
  • society
  • quality time
  • grandchildren
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