The graph below shows the changes in maximum number of Asian elephants between 1997 and 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart illustrates the number of
elephants
Use synonyms
that existed in 9 asian
countries
Use synonyms
in 1997 and 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total
of
Check wording
number of
show examples
elephants
Use synonyms
increased in all the
countries
Use synonyms
except Cambodia and Laos.
Also
Linking Words
, India possessed the most
elepants
Correct your spelling
elephants
,
whereas
Linking Words
China had the fewest. With regards to the
countries
Use synonyms
with
dimished
Correct your spelling
diminished
figures, India, Thailand and Malaysia experienced
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
dropoff
Correct your spelling
drop-off
in comparison to the other nations.
Elephants
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in India outnumbered
all
Correct pronoun usage
those in all
show examples
other
countries
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,
having
Change preposition
with
show examples
10000 in 1997.
Similarly
Linking Words
, Thailand
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
,s
Check wording
,'s
show examples
elephant population, which
just
Verb problem
was just
show examples
below 4000 in
1997
Punctuation problem
1997,
show examples
fell to 1200 in 2004,
whereas
Linking Words
Malaysia's fell from 3000 to 1000.
However
Linking Words
, Myanmarnand Sri Lanka registered relatively small changes between the two years.
Mynamar
Correct your spelling
Myanmar
had just over 5000 of the animals in 1997
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
fell to 4800 in 2004,
while
Linking Words
Sri Lanka dipped from 3000 to 2800. China, Vietnam, Cambodia and Laos
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
were all
amomg
Correct your spelling
among
the places with the
samllest
Correct your spelling
smallest
number of
elephants
Use synonyms
at approximately 1000 respectively.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, China fell
tothe
Correct your spelling
to the
lowest figure at 500 in 2004,
whereas
Linking Words
Laos remained stable both years.
Lastly
Linking Words
, Cambodia saw minimal growth to 1200.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words elephants, countries with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 4 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuate
  • peak
  • trend
  • decline
  • increase
  • decrease
  • population
  • significant
  • dramatic
  • stability
  • data
  • estimate
  • notable
  • comparative
  • contrast
  • approximately
  • maximum
  • over the period
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