IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Children need to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that youngsters should be master with punishment
Punctuation problem
,
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the distinction between correct and incorrect
at
Punctuation problem
, at
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 an early age.
This
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 essay totally disagrees with that statement. I believe that any penalty can be a long-term trauma for
children
Use synonyms
and
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, and
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also
Linking Words
it's
Correct determiner usage
its
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 outcome may not be
an enough satisfying
Correct word order
satisfying enough
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. First of all,
this
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 fine leads to a depression for offsprings especially
may
Correct pronoun usage
, which may
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have
Verb problem
apply
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influence a serious shift in youngsters' behaviour.
This
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 causes many
children
Use synonyms
 to suffer
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 level of trauma
which
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, which
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 can result in mental health
.
Check wording
issues.
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This
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 happened to my little brother.He used to learn by force the difference between right and wrong from my dad
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
; however
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however
Punctuation problem
however,
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 he
bacame
Correct your spelling
became
 more
fear
Replace the word
fearful
 and
also
Linking Words
 got depressed
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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he
Correct word choice
when he
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 experienced disturbed sleep and
talk
Wrong verb form
talked
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 unconsciously. Now he is fine and
also
Linking Words
understand
Correct subject-verb agreement
understands
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 the difference between the correct and incorrect from time to time.
Secondly
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,
children
Use synonyms
 may leave their parents or other
their
Correct determiner usage
apply
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close persons
due to
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 their wrongdoings when they
realize
Change the spelling
realise
show examples
 the distinction between right and
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also
Rephrase
apply
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wrong.
For example
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, many
children
Use synonyms
 will be upset or annoyed
from
Change preposition
by
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 their parents when they teach the distinction between correct and
in correct
Correct your spelling
incorrect
. One time my uncle
leaved
Correct your spelling
left
 his parents
by knowing
Change preposition
due to
show examples
 wrongdoings. In conclusion, for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowing the difference between correct and incorrect, we never use punishment because of the negative effects
such
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 as stress,depressed of
this
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 fine.

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task response
Answer the question more fully. Say more clearly why you disagree and how children can learn right and wrong without punishment.
task response
Make your main ideas easier to understand. Some parts are hard to follow because of wrong word use and grammar.
task response
Use examples that are clear and closely linked to your main point. Your brother example helps, but the uncle example is not clear enough.
coherence and cohesion
Organize each body paragraph with one clear main idea, then explain it, then give an example.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, such as First, Also, For example, and In conclusion. Do not add too many ideas in one sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects to the one before it. Some sentences change idea too fast, so the flow is weak.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction and keep this opinion to the end.
task response
You include two main reasons for your view, so your essay has a basic full answer.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear beginning, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphing, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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